Having Real Confidence Is Where It’s At
I was reading a few articles over at the Wing Girl Method and one particular article caught my eye about having real confidence. You should definitely check it out because it’s a great article posted by a very knowledgeable woman by the name of Marni : ‘How To Have Real Confidence‘
Her opening statement rings very true in my book. For a guy to be truly attractive to women he needs to be confident. Not just act confident, but genuinely be a confident person.
Some guys I feel, mistake the difference between acting confident and genuinely having self confidence. I am sure you have all hung around the guy who sits in the corner of the room and is very quiet. I am sure you have also hung out with the type of guy who does some crazy ass sh*t that you think “Bloody hell, he has got some real balls”. Then there is the guy who just acts himself and participates in a group in a controlled manner. They may have times where they do sum crazy stuff, they may have times where they are sat in the corner being quiet and times when they are somewhere in the middle.
Most people will guess that the guy who is sat in the corner is shy and the guy who is doing the crazy stuff is very confident and the other guy is somewhere in the middle. See the guy in the corner most likely has a lack of confidence to engage in any conversations or activities pro actively cause he probably feels that what he has to say or off is not of value to anyone else. Pretty obvious right?
The thing is the guy who is jumping around from the ceiling and acting like a madman might also have a lack of confidence as well. However it’s not as easy to see. He may lack the confidence because he feels that just being there and participating as a member of a group is not enough. He lacks the confidence to believe that people would be happy for him to be there even if he did not act like a mad man or the clown.
Real confidence is all about having the mindset that you know you are good enough, but you don’t need to shout it out to prove it. You may have times where you are louder and show external signs of confidence, but you don’t feel the need to do this as you know you are confident that just being yourself is enough. This type of confidence will be picked up by women on both a conscious and sub-conscious level. Marni said it well when she wrote:
“Well for me, as a woman, I think that a man has real confidence when he presents himself in a comfortable manner. Meaning he is just fine with who he is and proud to show it off. He realizes that he is a top of line model, the MVP of the team, the brightest star in the sky BUT he doesn’t feel the need to tell me about it. He just knows it. That is confidence that women want! The real confidence.”
If you are comfortable being around both your friends and strangers and don’t feel the need to do anything but be yourself, then you are truly confident. You know that acting as yourself is enough to show you are a quality person who doesn’t need to resort to cheap tactics in order to show people you are a cool fun person to be around. As I have always said “If people don’t like you for who you really are then you are never gonna be good friends with these people”. So by having real confidence in yourself is having confidence that you are good enough without needing to change the way you act is what it is all about.
Improving confidence is key so also check out Preston’s article about building confidence when it comes to meeting women: Building Confidence With Women
Catch you laters,
David Black
image: Come As You Are Co-operative
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