Is Porn causing you Social Anxiety?


Who doesn’t like beating off; choking the chicken; bashing the bishop; rubbing one out, right? All the visual debauchery we could ever need is only a web search away. The wonders of modern like, eh?

But what if I told you there could be a sinister dark-side to porn and masturbation, one that may be ruining your life if left unchecked? Well, you’d probably want a heads-up on the whole thing, and that’s what this article is all about.

Wanking is good for you, and normal…

Masturbation a perfectly normal and natural habit. It should be enjoyed withoutout the stigma and guilt often associated with it by society. Guys relieving the sexual tension because they have no other way to do it is perfectly normal. It’s actually proven to be healthy because it has been shown to help reduce your risk of prostate cancer. However, can it affect our ability to meet women if it becomes an addiction, especially if excessive consumption of porn is involved.

Masturbation is, by definition, an isolated activity that you do alone. You sit there glaring at the computer screen, browsing porn sites for a long period of time looking for new stuff to get your fix from. Part of you knows that this surely can’t be good for your social life, but you do it anyway, right? I know I do.

Well it blew my mind the other day when I read about masturbation to porn potentially directly causing social anxiety in men. What the hell? How can something as normal and porn and masturbation cause you to suffer from increased social anxiety?

Porn & masturbation rewires the brain

Any type of continuously repeated behaviour is going to cause rewiring of the brain, also known as ‘habits’. This is fine if kept in check but if it gets out of control it can completely hijack your thought process. That is how people get into addictions. They start to lose control of what they are doing and allow that particular activity to take over. They become dependent on that particular activity. Anything that we do in life if done in a balanced manner is healthy. However if taken to the extreme it can soon become a detriment to your health.

In the book ‘The Brain That Changes Itself’ Dr Norman Doidge explains how high levels of dopamine, caused from excessive stimuli, can cause the brain to alter. Part of your brain deals with ‘making social ties’ and thus is there to help you make friends and form relationships. However the high dopamine from porn & masturbation can cause these to change, which has a huge effect on our perception of life.

Instead of being in a situation where we want to meet others, we instead get more pleasure from fake people. This is because of the release of dopamine that happens in this situation. Soon the lure of porn & masturbation becomes even more compelling than going out and trying to meet women for sex.

Porn rewards time alone

Although our bodies are engineered biologically to find relationships rewarding – as it spreads and mulitplies our genes, somehow it just does not seem to have the same effect as hours of trawling erotic material on the web. Bottom line, porn in its modern ‘never-ending always on tap’ form essentially short-circuits our reward centre and can turn us into mindless goal-seeking machines.

The instant gratification porn provides means we are more likely to stay in and masturbate, instead of going out into the real world. This therefore isolates us even more from the rest of the world. It becomes a self-reinforcing self-destructive pattern.

Dopamine may play a role in depression…

It seems that dopamine may cause depression. When it is initially released you get a massive high. This however only lasts, while you have exposure to dopamine. The sort of exposure that may be bought about from constant drug use, or in this case frequent, prolonged masturbation.

The problem is, if you have an addiction to porn & masturbation and are therefore subjected to high levels of dopamine, you may find that you suffer from depression. Depression has a big impact on how you feel.

Why? Well, your body essentially builds up a resistance to the effects of dopamine, so your ‘base level’ of happiness and satisfaction, just in general, is subjectively lower. It also mediates social anxiety, so this increases too.

Breaking the addiction and meeting new people is made hard because of depression. Especially the symptoms such as low self-esteem, feeling irritable and intolerant of others, lack of energy or lack of interest in sex, etc. This is what makes it so hard to change your ways, because you feel bad and the only way you feel as though you can feel better is by masturbating. It’s a vicious cycle.

Often, you won’t even notice yourself doing this. You’ll just find yourself on autopilot, self-medicating by watching porn and masturbating. Realising that you are in this situation is the first step in the battle to get control back from your compulsions.

Who is most likely to suffer from addiction?

Certain people are more likely to suffer from social anxiety caused by addiction. Natural introverts are at the greatest risk. They are the sorts of people who isolate themselves away from others. This isolation often further compounds their porn addiction.

What does this mean for you?

Like I said at the beginning, porn & masturbation is totally normal as long as it is part of a healthy lifestyle. However if it becomes an addiction then it can become a problem.

Check out these porn/masturbation addiction stories to see for yourself just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

If this happens to you then there is always the possibility that you could suffer from increased social anxiety. Now I am not saying give up masturbation as it’s not to be blamed on it’s own. However if you feel like porn and masturbation maybe taking over your day-to-day life then you need to nip it in the bud fast.

The Challenge

Are you addicted to porn & masturbation? Let’s find out. Me and my main man Preston Blain have made a commitment to stop masturbating to porn for a month. Yeah, we both have girlfriends at the moment but we both still both look at porn and masturbate.

So for a whole month, no more. It’s gonna be tough. We’re going to have to find new things to do with all our new-found time ;-)

If you feel like you’re up for a challenge, see if you can follow along with us and give up beating off to porn too. And if you decide to, let us know how you get on.

Watch this space for updates on how we’re doing in this ‘porn free month’.

Speak soon,
David Black

P.S. If you like this stuff, make sure you sign-up to my mailing list in the box below.

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  • anonymous

    lol I like how there are no updates.
    I tried to stop for a month before too. By day three, my legs were feeling tingly.

  • http://social-masters.com/blog Preston Blain

    Ha ha, I know the feeling :-)

    Cheers for reminding me, I forgot to put the link on here to the update. You should defo read it. You can find it here: http://social-masters.com/blog/no-porn-for-a-month

  • Joe

    I think there are going to be many medical science breakthroughs regarding depression , treatments that don’t revolve an instantaneous gratifcation, pill, or altercation of the brain to get you feeling better. in a sense, I think the most natural you is the happiest you and your senses take-in all the negative stuff that messes with your mind. i’ll take the one month challenge and remind myself to be the “organic me” by also eatng organic foods everyday for a month. hopefully my own social anxieties will leave and I’ll have a rewired brain on the healthy things and an overall better sense of self. this is the “zen thing” the “Buddha tenants” and the Christian law all put into one. this is tactful, logical, god’s law, balance, chi, and good karma all in one. monks practice this and wisdom came. I hope more men step up to this one month challenge and make more impact with the extra time and energy.

  • http://social-masters.com/blog Preston Blain

    Hey Joe, good to hear you are going to give it a go. I found I wanted to do things that were more beneficial to me like going to the gym. I also hope more men step up and give it a go cos’ I think they will be pleasantly surprised.

    Make sure to let us know how you get on as it would be great to hear your thoughts on the whole process. Good luck.

  • smith

    This article is 100% true, I can honestly say that in some cases, excessive porn stimulated masturbation, rewires the brain, and causes depression.

    I am a 28 year old guy, who went back to school at 26, Having to socially isolate my self, for school, I turned to porn.. spending almost 3 years alone, with no girlfriend or friends, causes some serious mental problems, compounded by the effect of porn, on the brain.

    Now that I’m working and going out again, I am finding it hard to make connections with people, and find that I’m indifferent to people when approached.. and even going out has lost its thrill.. when once upon a time, I was the party..

    Completely stopping masturbation and porn for a short period is necessary, and then in very small intervals after minus the porn, and to work on my mind, I work out vigorously 4 times a week, and run 7 days…

  • Pornisbad

    Stopping it for a month after 3 rounds of bad sex

  • Waol

    Interesting blog i definitely wanna give the 1month cold turkey thing a try. Its gonna be a big test but on the upside although its gonna suck ill have a lot of energy to put into something else. The two big tests will be to see if i can pull it off and to see if i actually do feel much better than now. Good stuff…

  • http://www.forummatters.com/forums/forumdisplay.php/131-Social-Anxiety-Forum social phobia

    It’s when you get addicted in porn, you’ll have no time to socialize anymore. And that can lead to a serious addiction, depression, and mental problems.

  • satuP LE

    Do you think that if you go cold turkey for the month, would the anxiety leave? Let me know if anyone has successfully finalized the experiment. 

  • Be_Strong

    I’ll be undertaking this one-month challenge and honestly I don’t want to view porn again.  There’s nothing positive to be gained if you’re honest with yourself.  I know that, over time, continually watching porn has made my life dull and uninteresting (when I know deep-down I’m actually a cool guy).  Its made me not want to socialize with people and I still avoid girls.  I want to end this habit.  I want to feel the warmth and love from a real, living woman.  Life is short, and I want to LIVE and FEEL every moment I possibly can.  This marks the beginning of a new me.

  • Pass_da_courvosier

    No one has commented on success? I was on an SSRI and it stopped me from masterbating the whole time I was on it because it decreases sensation and you cannot orgasm lol. Not sure if it helped though it frustrated me and didnt know it was the meds till I stopped for a month

  • http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/cyberporn-can-be-linked-to-depression-and-anxiety-36099/#post513580 cyberporn can be linked to depression and anxiety – SocialPhobiaWorld.com

    [...] Re: cyberporn can be linked to depression and anxiety an even better article Is Porn causing you Social Anxiety? | David Black Social Masters Blog [...]

  • big v

    My social and sex lives have always been pretty shitty. I always blamed it on my average looks.

    I first started watching porn at around 9 or 10 years old (about 12 years ago). Sneaking my dad’s dirty mags and surfing on a now obsolete mac. Porn and masturbation have always been quite prominent in my life especially because of my lacking love life.

    I never really sought out an answer until a few months ago after I broke up with my girlfriend (I haven’t had many). I went to clubs and bars. Tried meeting girls but no matter what I did, I just could never get the courage to talk to a girl. Even when they’d ask me something I’d give them a short answer act all awkward and uneasy.

    Then Sometime in there, I went camping with my buds for a week and we shared a tent so there was no beating going on in there (at least I hope not). We got back to the city, it was a saturday (hadn’t done the dirty for a week) and my roommate wanted to go to an old friends birthday party. With no time to relieve the tension, I accompanied him.

    As soon as we got there I noticed and so did my friend, that I was getting attention. Something that never happens. I thought I had something on my face and no one was telling me. The night continued and it seemed almost automatic. I was talking to girls that I didn’t even know! something that I would have never done before. I spoke with this one nice girl, took her to the dance floor and just started making out. I was like a different person.

    I didn’t really make the link until I choked the chicken. I was so damn excited from that night that when I woke up the next morning I masturbated. Almost immediately I noticed the depression kicking in. It was at that point that I realized that masturbation and porn were effecting my social life. The following days I was back to my good ol’ ‘no eye contact, i’m not good enough’ self.

    I jumped on and fell of the wagon many times since then but have noticed the fluctuations being mimicked by my social life. Today I’ve set my personal record of 8 days haha. I feel like I’m in withdrawal as all I can think about is having sex. I’m so freekin horny! I can’t even focus on my job!

    When I read this post, a light turned on and now it seems to make sense why. I’m realizing that it’s a sacrifice that I’m going to have to make if I ever want a healthy sex life.

    If anyone reading this is in the same boat as I am, stay strong and keep your hands above the covers.

    Thanks for giving me a light at the end of my tunnel

  • Musieg

    look guys in all fairness social anxiety/phobias is not really caused by porn. I would say 5% would be due to pornographic material. The rest is life events etc.. that cause anxiety and panic

  • Azzzaoo6

    hi do any of you know of any supplemnents on the market for masturbation i am a persistent effender  i admit it.  there  is a interesting documentary on youtube  called i cant stop masturbating  about a guy named russell  who apparently does it 10-15 times a day, i myself am not far behind him. any feedback greatley appreciated   azzza

  • d Rose

    yo how is life without porn?

  • Jag Off

    Ive been researching this topic deeply myself, I can say that I found little scientific backup that points that masturbation causes anxiety and depression. Let me tell you, when I was 13 i started masturbating. The first time felt AMAZING (Ive never felt that way since) and every other time I started feeling less and less of that amazing feeling. I was instantly hooked, masturbating 3-5 times or more a day, every day. Im 18 now and im trying to stop this addiction because Ive lost 5 years of my life to anxiety and depression and its time I get back into control of my life. It will be a tough uphill battle but Its something that I have to do. Goodluck to everyone else who is struggling with this fight! You CAN win it!!

    P.S. Ive seen a ton of doctors and even got put on medication for a while for the anxiety but it didnt work. I cant believe that their isnt deeper medical investigation or knowledge on the negative health effects of chronic masturbation. If I knew how bad it would make me feel in the long run I never would have started!

  • PornIsEvil

    I have masterbated since 12 . I am 20 years old now.
    Througout highschool i was always the quite shy guy and i was good looking. I always had girls talking to me but i never made the move to go further with them.
    I never knew why i was like this i always thought to myself i was different.
    When i hit 17 i turned too drugs and spent 3 years just staying home smoking and having no sex drive at all ( i masterbated pretty much everday) this just made my anxiety worse.

    About 1 month ago I met this girl an she came back to my place. We both got naked and i wasn’t able to get a proper erection. I was so confused and did some research an found out that chronic masterbation can not only give you social anxiety but it can also cause erectional dysfunctional problems.

    I have now stopped masterbating for 2 weeks and all i want too do is go out and talk too girls. And also meet up with my friends more.

    I know i have a long time before my brain rewires itself back to normal but seeing
    progress has made me so happy.

    For anyone out there who has masterbated too porn for a long time.
    STOPP!!!!!!!
    it is doing you no good mentally, physically and emotionally. Who knew porn and masterbation could be so bad for us hey?

    I have read that it will take 30 – 90 days depending on many factors including your age , when you started , how long you have been doing it for.