David Black Social Masters Blog

How To Approach A Girl

Approaching women is often the scariest situation men face in their entire lives. A real mind battle. No joke. You may know how to attract women, but unless you also know how to approach a girl, then even if you are the master of how to flirt, you are gonna freeze up. This is the real thing, the wet-your-pants-scary stuff that heroes are made for.

Don’t fret though, this is a learnable skill. Any man can learn it. You can learn it. So let’s rise to this challenge.

Here’s how…

The Components of All Approaches

All approaches are made up of the following core components:

• Eye contact
• Smile (normal)
• More ‘General’ Bodylanguage
• Voice tone
• What you say

These are in descending order of importance. This is an important thing to notice. Look at the bottom of the list. ‘What you say’ is actually the least important component of an approach. The least important factor in how to attract girls and picking up women.

This is so counter-intuitive to us men. We are so focused on logic and facts that our perception of reality is distorted. It sounds like a cliche by now but its such a good insight I’m gonna say it anyway:

It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

In fact, if you get all the other components mastered, you can approach women without saying a word.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves here. Let’s focus on each aspect of the approach and drill down into how you can master each one. Let’s learn how to get a girl…

Eye Contact

Not looking a girl in the eyes when you are talking to her is downright creepy. It is normal to look away occasionally but make sure you look her straight in the eye initially and frequently.

If you don’t, it conveys insecurity and general weirdness. Not how to attract girls.

Smile

Guess what? Women respond well to happy, lively men. Big shock there. :-)

So many guys are scared, or confused, or serious, or insecure, or whatever, they forget that learning how to meet women is a fun thing to do.

Smile. This makes you feel good and will show the woman that you are confident and relaxed – both great things to portray to her, because you want her to feel confident and relaxed too. And the best way to put her in that state, is to be there yourself first.

This is how to love a girl, by looking in her eyes and being genuine in your expression of emotions. And your little ‘love girl’ will love you back, without a doubt.

More General Bodylanguage

In general, you want to avoid behaviours that make you look insecure and nervous (best way is by genuinely not being insecure and nervous). And you want to embrace behaviours that portray confidence, leadership and social status.

Avoid:

• Leaning in.
• Getting too much ‘in her face’ too quickly.
• Nervous ‘fiddling’ behaviours.
• Closed-off body language (arms folded, etc.).
• Abrupt ‘weird’ movements like flicking your hair of something else a bit odd.

Embrace:

• Leaning away from her.
• Don’t turn to face her completely until she has engaged you.
• Move with purpose & confidence.
• Open, sprawling bodylanguage.
• Using facial expressions to convey emotions (my fave – the ‘slitty eyes “I’m onto you” glare’).

If you want more information on how to touch a girl (how to feel a girl up as they say where I’m from) in a confident, non-threatening way, then see my How To Meet More Women For The Rest Of Your Life Video.

Voice Tone

Easy stuff here. Don’t speak too quick, don’t speak too slow. Pace your talking so she isn’t weirded out by you being a motormouth, nor bored by you taking too long to talk. In general, guys need to slow down when they talk to women. Talking quick comes across nervous. Just relax. Deep breath, ahhhhhh – much better.

Resonate. Speak deeply, with support from your diaphragm. Think of Darth Vader. James Earl Jones used to have a speech impediment until he got vocal lessons. Check out this classic Sesame Street footage for a fine display:

This was of course filmed back in the glory days when Sesame Street was scarier than most horror films. “I… am your father… And I will pick you up from school, by the front gates at four o’clock.” :-)

What You Say

Once you’ve mastered the other factors, this part pales in insignificance. You can literally say anything, or nothing even like I said earlier.

For some examples though, check out my How To Meet More Women For The Rest Of Your Life video. On this site.

I’m Game – I Wanna Watch The Video Now

Final Thought

Stop focusing on the words, and start focusing on the other parts. The parts that womens’ minds are attuned to respond to.

I’m all about efficiency and results – you wanna put in effort where it will be more effective. You won’t catch me using boring and useless recycled rehashed ‘dating tips’,no sir! If you want that, go somewhere else.

So in conclusion: Eye contact, then smile, pay attention to body language, focus on good voice tone. Simple. Break that shit down and you will be approaching girls any-time and anywhere.

And join my mailing list if you haven’t already. You’re missing out on all my cool shit. Go do it at the top of this page.

Till next time, go get ‘em tiger!

Laters,
David Black

image credit: Bucky Skeel

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