Are girls intimidated by good looking guys?

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Are girls intimidated by good looking guys? In the past, I have had guys who have said to me “I feel like girls are intimidated by me because I am good looking”. This made me wonder are girls intimidated by hot guys or does it not really matter? Lets take a look…

One common stereotype about guys that are good looking is that they are the guys who do the most cheating. Some women may have a misconception that good looking men are just after one thing… SEX. To be honest, it’s pretty hard not to blame them for thinking that. How many good looking actors have portrayed this image? It’s this stereotype that good looking guys have to deal with and can trigger alarm bells in a girl’s mind.

What is also apparent is there is a fine line between having a cheeky personality and being arrogant, especially when you are good looking. If you don’t nail the first impression straight away, women will create the assumption that you may have a shallow personality. They may also believe that you’re not as smart as other guys or don’t have a good personality in general. I have experienced this kind of assumption first hand. It is due to my good looks that I have had previous accusations that I am not ‘the most intellectual of individuals’; without knowing that I actually have a good educational background.

Many girls can be intimidated by good looking guys as they are afraid. They may feel that you are the guy that easily matches their ‘dream’ guy. Most guys forget that women are just as scared of rejection as you are. Plus they have the added fear that you may just use them for sex. They don’t want to find themselves in a position where they may be rejected. They are worried that they may speak to you and want to take it further with you but feel it ain’t worth the risk of having their heart broken.

In some cases, it may not have anything to do with the fact that they are intimidated by good looks. Sometimes you will find that what may look like intimidation is actually the girl’s lack of confidence on full show. They may feel that they are ‘not worthy’ of being with someone who is good looking. They value themselves to such a poor standard that they will not feel comfortable with good looking guys talking to them or showing them any kind of attention. It doesn’t make a difference whether the girl is attractive or not, it just depends on how much she values herself. Even attractive girls can have a low value of themselves.

So are girls intimidated by good looking guys? Some maybe, some may not. Which ever way, it doesn’t really matter. If you can make women feel comfortable around you then it does not make a difference. This comes down to your personality and ability to create comfort in women. At the end of the day, what women like is a guy with a great personality. Even if you are a good looking guy it doesn’t matter as long as you show you have a great personality to go with it because that is what women prefer.

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

image: heatherparker

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  • Alexznumber1

    Thanks man. I really needed this right now. I really feel girls are “worried that they may speak to you and want to take it further with you but feel it ain’t worth the risk of having their heart broken.” It weird girls are so open when I meet them only by look at their body. They are very open and give me sexually interested body language you know with the wrists, head, and arms thing they are open. I see it. Then I get their number then they flake I consider myself attractive and even more so with my psychical body which is in super shape almost like Taylor Lautner just working on the abs, I have 2.

  • Preston Blain

    I know how you feel. I have had the same problems. I have even had girls say to me “Why are you with me/talking to me”. It's like they feel they are not good enough.

    Just make sure that you make them feel comfortable around you and basically try to make them realise that they are good enough and that is why you are talking to them/with them in the first place.

    Also build a connection with her. Make her aware that you are not just talking to her because of the way she looks but because of her personality. It's all about taking things to a deeper level and not allowing her to think that the whole interaction is built on superficial looks.

    Guys think being good looking is plain sailing when it comes to meeting women. That's just not the case…

  • Alexznumber1

    Hey Blain May we talk through Google chat perhaps email. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I think I'm building comfort I'd like a quick chat like for 3 minutes I need help on this. You could really help a kid out. I'm 18.

    I don't know how to keep in touch with you.

  • Preston Blain

    Sure man, sent you an email.

  • Preston Blain

    They probably feel it worse cos’ women tend to think things over much more than men.

  • Marie

    NYman-that’s not true in my case. I’ve been rejected by men quite a bit, so if an attractive guy walks up to me, I automatically assume he’s trying to sell me something or offer a survey. No joke!

  • Nko300

    Not only are women intimidated by looks, but they are intimidated by money as well. I agree wit ythe article saying that they feel they arent good enough.

    I have invited women to dinner and when we end up at a nice restaurant not because I try to impress, but because that is the food I like, they get scared and act uncomfortable. Its like they rather have a fat ugly loser take them out to McDonalds and super size meal than anything else.

    I have noticed they are used to going out with fatsos or thug wannabees with saggy pants and when they get around a guy with his life in order it intimidates them. Girls often think im a “player” but in reality I probably date less than the fatso that is sitting next to them because that very perception (catch 22). Girls will say “I want a guy who will treat me right, good looking, has a stable career…blah blah blah” but when that very guy asks them out they flake out and make excuses.

     I dont look at this as much as a self confidence issue as much as I do that it goes to show that the girls are losers in life and they know what they are worth and when they see you they know they arent worth your time.

  • Dave

    i have to agree with this however not all women are intimidated, i have known many girls in school/college desperately dying for my attention to look at them and that was when i was FAT!!. Honest. now im fitter with muscles and same. so it comes down to good looks and/or personality if you want to get women. if you cant get a women with your looks then you can get her with your personality. this means acting like you are the perfect guy for her and getting her to believe that aswell. simple.

  • X6110

    Preston, dig the article.  Women will never fess up to this, but you’re 100%.  Women have 100 times more pride than guys, and if they are rejected by an attractive guy, they’ll commit suicide, because it shatters their fragile image of themselves (insecurity).  Notice women say they like CONFIDENCE.  That is another way of saying they prefer to do the rejecting, so hot women will often date guys that make the first move, and aren’t attractive at all.  Like Preston said, make them feel comfortable, but. BUT, if you’re a good looking guy you have to work backwards.  They assume you’re arrogant off the bat, so YOU have to humble yourself and be a little self-effacing and humorous about your looks, almost like you’re surprised SHE’S even paying you attention because you consider yourself average (little white lie).  That’s the PERSONALITY thing they bring up.  They don’t want a guy all full of himself, because they’re looking for a guy that pays attention to them as much as possible.

  • Wisewolf62

    I agree. I am a good looking guy, I earn a good living, I have a SUV and a sports car, I live in a house and I can’t get one woman to give me the time of day but let some fat out of shape slob come by and they are talking to him. I think women have lowered their standards
    and lost their minds as well. They want a loser that won’t ask questions due to lack of intelligence and also he does not care if they take a bath or smell nice. He just want to
    get laid. Things have really changed. Women don’t know how to handle a real man anymore  they want a boy that never grew up and lives with his parents. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back to the time period when being a decent man counted.

  • Preston Blain

    Thanks for the great comment. 

  • Preston Blain

    I know where you are coming from. I use to learn things and and try to be a certain way because I thought it would help me make friends. It didn’t. 

    I realised that I needed to improve myself but also to stay true to my inner values. You can’t try and be someone else because that is unsustainable. This has meant that some people like me and others don’t. However I now have some great close friends who I can relate to on a deep level and that is more important than trying to make the masses like you.

    It has also made me more successful with women cos’ at one point I couldn’t get a girl to save my life. If you haven’t done so read:

  • Preston Blain

    If you want to be truly successful with women then personality is key.

  • Tanry

    I’d date all of you :p    -attractive woman not afraid of attractive man 

  • Fffr

    its a new age learn how to build comfort over text

  • cjstk5341

    Wow I didn’t know so many attractive guys can’t get girlfriend. I guess what you guys say about how women sees good-looking guys as arrogant is true. It’s a common thinking we women usually view good-looking guys. I for one always had this weird thinking or feeling that good-looking guys are different in some ways to normal guys. Which probably is just a myth. By the way girls do have fear of rejection like guys. I never liked anyone before but I did have intense interest over this really good-looking person in my school but I couldn’t even talk to him because I thought I wasn’t good enough. [Well I still feel the same way since I'm pretty fat.] Well anyways, everyone has their problems. I think girls would choose who you guys call “fat” guy than attractive guys because we might think it is safer choice. We have this thinking that attractive guys are more likely to cheat with others than normal guys. I think most women prefer stable relationships so they don’t want to endanger future potential relationship by choosing someone who might have an affair or treat them badly. I guess it must be frustrating for you guys too but please don’t go around saying women are dumb or something like that. That’s very disrespectful. I bet all of you guys have stereotypes of something or someone you never actually get to experience or talked to. 

  • amandabricot

    Guys, I don’t know how old you all are but I agree with x6110 comment. 
    We, girls, have been ALL our lives raised to be aware and cautious of you. It is valid for all kind of guys so it obviously applies for GOOD looking guys. To us, a good and serious guy- someone we can trust and who cares about us- is a guy who MAKES THE MOVE! Why do you think all the romantic comedies are so popular? Because the guy is persistent. We like it when a guy pursue us, it shows us we are important to you. 

    That said, not many man act this way these days. We like a guy who shows his interest, letting us be the woman. It is so hard these days! And true, we sometimes end up with less good looking/ less of a great personality/ less potential guys because they don’t scare us AND they are often the ones with more guts! Depending on the girl and her confidence, some go for it, some not…some until they understand they should have more confidence and go for the right guy… (unless it’s real love)! Why is it so complicated?! 

    Also, you might have noticed that very pretty girls can end up with average guys because sometimes, they are the only guy to either not be impressed (if they are intelligent) and actually ‘see’ something else then just a good looking girl to show off around. People think life is easy for good looking girls…well let me tell you, life can be hell. All the other girls are so jealous, it makes your life miserable even when people think you have everything to be happy…work is hard, relationships are hard…while we never heard of guys being jealous of others guys.

  • Laura Harley

     Lately i noticed that my self esteem is low around  men im attracted to.This article makes alot of sense. There has been situations were the interest in someone is only a phase because of fear and it controls my ability to have who i want. Maybe guys have this same problem and i seen guys get scared of me and now i understand that we people have a lack in social confidence, its sad :( Or maybe its a good thing because a guy can be just as shallow as a girl and i dont want to get in a bad situation.

  • FrustratedGuy

     Guys are just as jealous and insecure as woman are. I have so many times been stabbed in the back by jealous friends and “so called friends”" who felt threatened by me and insecure about themselves.
    I get along with woman. I enjoy being around them. I always create a special bond on a deeper level when I meet woman, and when a guy or a boyfriend notices and feels threatened, then the snowball of jealousy has already started to roll. What I do nowadays is I just stay away and try not to get involved with this childishness. This is something that seriously has to change in society. Why can’t two people  talk to one another without a third person barging in to see what is going on? The big problem is trust. We don’t trust one another, and I mean, if there is no trust, there is no hope, there is no love, only fear, hatred, malice, selfishness, greed, unpeace and sadness.

  • Zninjalink

    I read all of your comments,, and guess what… i am also a very attractive guy as well,, im 19 portugese and half black mixed,, i have a twin sister,, but to me it seems like even perfection isnt enough to get a girl,,i have game,, i approchoch wemon all that,,, it seems like the only wemon i have luck with is.. the ones that come up to me… i have friends that are idiots and assholes that cheat on there girlfrineds,,, there even ugly… and stilll…have more luck then me,,,i feel like…if im not having sex…. then noone is……i text these girls…i say all the nicest things,,, and dont even really get a replie…. i feeel like a peice of shit… and then it doesnt do anything but make me mad at the whole wemon race…… everytime i get 2 steps closer i take ten steps back… i go on all no joke these websites and apps,,,,, talk to almost every single girl on the site…. and only get like 2-3 replies out of 100,, like,, wtf do wemon want??? I thought i was lucky that i was good looking,,, but now i feel like… its bad to be goodlooking,,, i havent had sex in…2 years. Im depressed cuz i feel like even though im good looking nobody wants me…and that must mean my personality is shitty as fuck.. but im fun to be around.. i have alot of friends… idk it makes me hate wemon… cuz i feel like wemon hate me!

  • sr782

    put me on that list as well

  • Tiptoe79

    ZNinja best advice…work you’re arse off in the gym.
    Helped me massively, unconfident skinny good looking-lad transformed into 6ft 2 hunk.
    Becoming a physical presence is the single greatest action you can take.
    With presence comes confidence. But remain humble. You will begin loving women and women will begin loving you.


     I know that there are women that can be intimidated by men but I do think this article has a lot to do with why a lot  men are rejected and can’t get women:

  • Brett Baylis

    I’m a boyishly handsome,59-year-old black Canadian lad who,even today,is ogled and
    pursued by chesty white lasses-BUT FOR SOME REASON,NOT GREAT-LOOKING BLACK GALS-so apparently,gals don’t seem intimidated by my good looks!!!!