David Black Social Masters Blog

Why Men Feel Pressured Into Getting A Girl For Valentine’s Day

[Note from David B. :- As it's Valentines coming up, we got a genuine, certified *girl* to write a guest article about it. Thought it would be good to get things from a female point of view. Preston found Tash in the nearby enchanted forest (so he tells me, personally I think he's on drugs), hope you enjoy what she has to say about the love-drenched celebrations.]

Hearing too many love songs over the radio? Seeing your fair share of red roses and boxes of chocolate in the shops? That means only one thing: Valentine’s Day is creeping upon us. And for some of us, it’s the worst time of the year.

If you’re trying to get a girl, you probably starting to feel more pressure at this particular time of year than any other. Whether you’re going to work, heading to the gym or even relaxing at home, you feel like you’re carrying a form of burden with you at all times. There are a few reasons why Valentine’s Day tends to create more pressure for you when trying to get a girl…

The most common reason is you start to feel lonely and left out because close friends and family start to discuss their ‘master plans’ on how to make the occasion special for their girlfriends. This can trigger several things:

• It can make you feel abnormal as you haven’t got anyone to ‘share’ the holiday with and makes you feel very insecure.
• You start to get paranoid that there’s something wrong with you and wonder how everyone else can find a girl a hell of a lot easier than you.
• Negative thoughts begin to arise and traps you in a negative state of mind, blocking out anything positive (e.g.: believing that you won’t ever find a girl)
• You begin to isolate yourself allowing all these different emotions to make a dramatic impact on your lifestyle.

And if that was bad enough, the media aren’t exactly kind to you in any way around this time of year either. For them it’s the time of year when no matter where you look – whether it’s a shop window or on the television – the same messages keeps on being preached at you… “You should be in love by now! Why are you alone?” As Valentine’s Day is targeted at couples, everywhere you look there are cards, flowers and the odd cuddly toy. This makes it hard for you to escape back into reality and your daily routine. There maybe a chance you would look at this as a golden opportunity to try and get the right girl in time for Valentine’s and become more determined with achieving this goal. This may seem like a great idea at first until you start to panic that you can’t get the right girl in time for the deadline set and desperation starts to kick in. You begin to think that “any one’s better than nobody” and start to lower your standards.

One thing you need to know, and that a lot of people tend to forget, is that you’re not the only person who can’t stand the thought of Valentine’s Day. Heck, even most guys in a relationship tend to hate this day just as much as you do. Whether they have recently started a new relationship or have been together for years, they feel pressured into taking ‘the right course of action’ and perhaps struggle to think how to beat the following year. Some are entirely focused on their girlfriend attempting to make the day as romantic as they possibly can. Others feel pressured over buying a simple gift for their girlfriend. They ask themselves questions like “Have I spent enough?” “Is it genuine and sincere?”. And strangely enough, there are even guys who have convinced themselves that Valentine’s Day is a form of relationship evaluator, worried what the consequences would be if they ‘haven’t made the grade’.

And it’s not only the guys that hate this holiday, some women do too for similar reasons. Even though it’s ‘tradition’ for the guy to spend more money on a gift than the girl, some girls feel pressured in not only buying a gift but also feel they are competing with their boyfriend and their friends in a game called ‘who can spend the most money on a gift?’. Some girls would much prefer having small romantic surprises throughout a relationship than feeling you have to justify yourself on one day.

What the majority of people don’t seem to grasp is that Valentine’s Day is like any other day. Like some people, I tend to view this day as a hallmark holiday. It’s purely designed for companies to make a little bit more money in their back-pocket by selling more cards and increasing prices on gifts like flowers and chocolates. And let’s be perfectly honest, if you found a girl you had genuine feelings for, would you wait till Valentine’s to let her know how you really feel or would you be more spontaneous? Why would you hold back and wait for a specific date to arrive? Simple answer is you wouldn’t.

So how do you ease off the pressure from the day that is February 14th whilst trying to get a girl?

Ignore it. Sounds easy I know. But what is the fuss really all about? It’s a day that’s in the middle of February. That’s all.

Rather than spending the day alone at home, why not spend with your friends?

Bye for now,
Natasha May

image: mysza831

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