Although I have been teaching people for many years on a private one-to-one basis, I only set this website up a year or so ago. In the grand scheme, I’m a noob :-). I don’t prefess to be a big fancy guru or anything, I’m just a normal dude that used to be crap with women, and is now half-way decent. I think I can teach you a few things, and have some useful experience to share.

What am I blathering about exactly? Well, some people seem to think that having all these new fancy lookin’ websites and myriad of super-duper-advanced products on the market is a bad thing…

To be frank, I agree that if a shady-charlatan-like-dude is just out to sell a bunch of crap to vulnerable guys with a real need in the name of making a fast buck or two, then yeah, that’s generally a bad thing.

But, it ain’t all like that. You see, the more choice we men have, the more chance you have of finding a teacher that suits your needs and personality.

It’s like sandwiches. There are millions of the bastards. Some gross, some boring, but a few rare ones are beautifully delicious, and right on the money for you.

The same can be said with learning to meet women. You gotta research a bit and choose what’s best for you. If we all had the same needs then we would all be learning off the same teacher, be it Neil Strauss or Carlos Xuma or myself, or whoever.

But get this: we’re not all the same. Duh, right?

Some people want to use routines to be successful, and more power to you if that’s what floats your boat. Others want to use a more natural approach. Some guys want to sleep with loads of women, whilst others just want a girlfriend.

Everyone is different, and that is where the beauty of choice comes in. There is something for you out there, you just gotta find it.

Find the one teacher who shares the same values as you, has the same goals as you, and someone whose teaching method suits your personality.

Let’s be honest, if they flat-out annoy the hell out of you, are you really going to listen to a 10 hour product, no matter how good the content is?

But if you resonate with them, then the learning process can be enjoyable. You’ll get what you want, and have fun along the way. You’ll actually enjoy the process.

So my lesson is this: Use this guru overload to your advantage. There are charlatans out there, sure. But do you research, pick the right match for you, avoid getting burned and soon you’ll be basking in a hot tub with five smokin’ hot Maxim models. Or your money back! :-)

David Black

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I have often seen questions from guys relating to how to get a shy girl. Picture this: You approach a girl, and she appears to be so shy that she struggles to keep any conversation going and can’t even relax around you. And it would appear that she will make almost any excuse to get away from you. Not because she doesn’t like you -she *does* like you- but because she is afraid.

This leaves the dilemma of how to get a girl to like you if she is a shy girl.

A shy girl may have a lack of confidence when in surroundings or with people she is not familiar with. She will usually try to shield herself away from any form of attention. If she does get noticed by you, she may behave awkwardly with a cautious attitude and use body language to hint that she is uncomfortable around you. Some shy girls have a fear of failure and will often have a secret desire to escape back into solitude. That’s because in her mind, she believes that only certain people can make her feel comfortable.

And in order for you to make her feel comfortable, you need to understand a bit more about what’s really going on…

So what makes her so shy? To understand how to get a shy girl, you need to understand what makes her shy in the first place. When you normally approach women you are completely relaxed, confident, sure of yourself, and appear to know exactly what to say to her at the right moment. To a shy girl, this can make her:

* feel inferior to you
* hesitate about what to say or do around you, and panic
* be clueless in what to say/do
* feel nervous
* fear that she is going to be rejected by you

So you want to know how to stop her being shy? First, you got realise that ’shyness’ in itself is just a state of mind. There is a confident girl in there somewhere, you just gotta give her the right stimulation to coax it out of her. There areways to get a girl to feel more confident around you.

You need to put her at ease. Do this by first being at ease yourself. This has a subtle leadership effect, and you act like a source of emotional strength that will guide her.

Remember: the strongest frame in an interaction always wins the day. If your confident frame is stronger than her shyness frame, you will influence her, and she will feel more confident.

This is like when you’re in a strange and unfamiliar situation, and you are with someone who obviously knows what they are doing. You naturally look to this person, see them as a source of strength, and follow their lead. They are like a rock.

You are that rock to her.

Also, let her know she can be herself around you. If you show her that you’re not a judgemental person, then she’s more likely to be immediately comfortable around you.

Show her that you are not just randomly talking to her just for the sake of it. Show her that you genuinely want to get to know her. You can do this by not just talking about yourself, but by taking a step back and listen to what she has to say. Give her your full attention.

Be aware if you are putting her on the spot too much, as this can be taking it to far and make her uncomfortable again. As you start to learn about her likes and dislikes, if there’s anything you two share in common then you might want to talk more into that. By doing this, helps her feel more relaxed and accepted around you.

If she wants to say something to you and changes her mind at the last minute, tell her that you want to hear what she has to say and ask her what she wanted to say. She’ll do this because she wants to to tell you something, but hasn’t yet got the confidence to say it. When asking her about it, don’t be seen as ‘too pushy’. If it looks like she doesn’t want to tell you after a couple of attempts, then let her know that you are there if she wants to talk to you and leave it as that. If you do this, this can make her feel confident that she can open up to you in the future.

Always remember that shy girls need more time to adapt around you than confident, extroverted women. If she starts feeling at ease and you ask her out for a date straight away, the fear of rejection and nerves will come running back. Start things slow by doing fun activities together. This can can an interest you both share (e.g. golf, bowling, nature) or a new experience you can both enjoy.

Finally, when it comes to how to get a shy girl, never attempt to gossip or mention anything negative about others when you’re around her! This does two things: It makes her feel very self conscious and paranoid about the way she is seen by others. It also tells her that you’re not someone she can trust and she will worry that as soon as her back is turned, you could easily speak about her the same way. This can definitely affect what she says and does around you and may stop her from opening up to you.

The key thing to remember with shy girls is to be the strong leader. With a confident girl you don’t need to do all the work because she will be willing to speak up. However with a shy girl you need to put in all the work, make all the decisions, shoulder all the responsibility and take all the risks. You need to be the man in the equation, the strong on. Bottom line, you gotta man-up son!

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I was reading a few articles over at the Wing Girl Method and one particular article caught my eye about having real confidence. You should definitely check it out because it’s a great article posted by a very knowledgeable woman by the name of Marni : ‘How To Have Real Confidence‘

Her opening statement rings very true in my book. For a guy to be truly attractive to women he needs to be confident. Not just act confident, but genuinely be a confident person.

Some guys I feel, mistake the difference between acting confident and genuinely having self confidence. I am sure you have all hung around the guy who sits in the corner of the room and is very quiet. I am sure you have also hung out with the type of guy who does some crazy ass sh*t that you think “Bloody hell, he has got some real balls”. Then there is the guy who just acts himself and participates in a group in a controlled manner. They may have times where they do sum crazy stuff, they may have times where they are sat in the corner being quiet and times when they are somewhere in the middle.

Most people will guess that the guy who is sat in the corner is shy and the guy who is doing the crazy stuff is very confident and the other guy is somewhere in the middle. See the guy in the corner most likely has a lack of confidence to engage in any conversations or activities pro actively cause he probably feels that what he has to say or off is not of value to anyone else. Pretty obvious right?

The thing is the guy who is jumping around from the ceiling and acting like a madman might also have a lack of confidence as well. However it’s not as easy to see. He may lack the confidence because he feels that just being there and participating as a member of a group is not enough. He lacks the confidence to believe that people would be happy for him to be there even if he did not act like a mad man or the clown.

Real confidence is all about having the mindset that you know you are good enough, but you don’t need to shout it out to prove it. You may have times where you are louder and show external signs of confidence, but you don’t feel the need to do this as you know you are confident that just being yourself is enough. This type of confidence will be picked up by women on both a conscious and sub-conscious level. Marni said it well when she wrote:

“Well for me, as a woman, I think that a man has real confidence when he presents himself in a comfortable manner. Meaning he is just fine with who he is and proud to show it off. He realizes that he is a top of line model, the MVP of the team, the brightest star in the sky BUT he doesn’t feel the need to tell me about it. He just knows it. That is confidence that women want! The real confidence.”

If you are comfortable being around both your friends and strangers and don’t feel the need to do anything but be yourself, then you are truly confident. You know that acting as yourself is enough to show you are a quality person who doesn’t need to resort to cheap tactics in order to show people you are a cool fun person to be around. As I have always said “If people don’t like you for who you really are then you are never gonna be good friends with these people”. So by having real confidence in yourself is having confidence that you are good enough without needing to change the way you act is what it is all about.

Improving confidence is key so also check out Preston’s article about building confidence when it comes to meeting women: Building Confidence With Women

Catch you laters,
David Black

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“In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail”
(Anonymous)

Learning anything in life is full of set backs. Nothing ever goes perfectly smooth and there will be times when it just doesn’t work out. This is all part of a path that you must ensure in order to succeed in life. Whether it’s to do with your job, a hobby, with women etc, you will endure many set backs.

When it comes to meeting and attracting women, you will not be able to learn some theories and then expect to go out into the real world and be hugely successful. You will most likely have moments where the girl blows you out straight away or blows you out when you try and contact her at a later date.

This will happen to you. It may happen quite a lot when you first start trying this stuff out. Just like you may fail the first few attempts you try and complete a song on medium on “Guitar Hero” [Editors note: God that game is hard :-)] or the first time you tried to learn a skill such as martial arts and you just could not get a certain aspect right. Maybe when you start a new job and you struggle to do the tasks you have been given.

It’s these moments that allow you to learn and grasp this new skill you are trying to learn. You need to learn from these miniature failures and come back stronger for it in the future. The more you fail, the more success you will have in the future as long as you learn from each one. If we take starting a new job as an example; you may fail to do the job correctly at first, but the more you practice the task and learn from your previous failings the better you will become. The same applies for meeting and attracting women.

Check out the article: Double Your Failure to understand more about why failure can help you become more successful with women.

Also if you are willing to fail, then the fear of approaching girls and attracting girls becomes less. Less anxiety means more success in the future.

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

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Lots of Options – A real man is picky/choosy. This is all about having the ability to see opportunities where others may miss them. Having the ability to see these opportunities gives you plenty of options with women and this is very attractive. Start believing that every girl you see is attracted to you. This will give you an air of confidence. This confidence will be noticed by the female of the species whether it’s on a conscious or sub-conscious level. Also when you approach girls, this is attractive because it demonstrates that you do have lots of options. By approaching a girl you are showing that you have the option to approach and attract any girl that tickles your fancy.

Stop Caring – Don’t worry about what people think of you. This maybe hard for some, but it’s a great thing to possess. If you care what others think then you will never demonstrate any of the above qualities as you will be more concerned with what overs will think of the way you are attracting. You might worry that they may think your decisions are not correct or that you are arrogant because you know you have lots of options. This is not the case. These sorts of people are followers. They are happy to let someone else take the lead and sit back while they get all the girls. So stop caring and be the guy all women want. Also if you stop caring what girls think of you, the fear of approaching girls will become less. More approaches means more chances of attracting girls and therefore more chances to date girls.

As you can see there are no secrets when it comes to attracting girls, it just comes down to demonstrating these 4 qualities that attract girls.

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

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What we need to realise is that in life we will go through many failures. It doesn’t matter how successful, how talented or how lucky you are, you will always have failures. After all we are only human and that means that we aren’t perfect, even me, no matter how many times people have told me I am :-)

Seriously though, the ability to go from one failure to the next until you do succeed is such an awesome mentality to have. There is no way to fail in life if you keep plugging away no matter what shit life throws at you and trust me it will do. This happens to be something that you can do in all walks of life. If you want to set up your own business, travel across the world on a motorbike or climb a mountain the chances are you will have some major set backs but if you persevere then you will achieve your goals.

When it comes to meeting and attracting women you are going to have a bad day or two. There will be times when everything that comes out of your mouth is as effective as a coffee mug made of chocolate. The thing is, if you realise this will happen to you at some point then when it does finally happen it won’t effect you mentally. Instead you can take it straight on the chin and just plow through it and just keep going.

Final thought. You should realise that life is defined by how you handle the tougher moments more than how you deal with the good moments. Dealing with the good stuff is easy, dealing with the bad stuff is hard. The thing is the bad times define just how good the good stuff will be. If you can battle through the bad times then it opens up a world of goodness. Battling through the tough moments for you may mean that you achieve something you have always wanted to in life. Something that will give you the greatest satisfaction in life. If you want those great moments you have to deal with the bad ones in the best way possible.

Check out this awesome video of Rocky Balboa’s inspirational speech to his son:

So remember, just keep plugging away :-)

Catch ya laters,
Preston Blain

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Hey guys, David here.

I was just looking back through some of my posts for 2009 and thought it would be a nice to give you a list of the 5 best articles to read. So if you pick just a hand full of my posts to read then choose these, Social Masters best of 2009:

1) Learn How To Attract Girls – This article is all about developing yourself inner self in order to attract more women. Understanding the mental concepts is so important to becoming great with women. This is truely some of my best stuff. Check it out.

2) Discover The ‘Attract Girl’ Method – Learn how to walk and talk like somebody who is awesome with women. Also learn how touch is such an important aspect.

3) Confidence with women – Once you have your inner game sorted, you need to build the confidence to go out and talk to women. There is no point being great with women if you ain’t got the balls to go out and use those skills.

4) How To Approach A Girl – Once you are this bad ass mother f**cker who has awesome inner game, knows how to walk and talk, has the confidence to put this stuff into action, then it is time to learn how to approach a girl. Well this artcile does exactly that.

5) How To Get A Girlfriend In 7 Easy Steps – This is a little bit of a cheat on my part, because this article not only tells you what you need to do to get a girlfriend, but it links to all the articles I have listed here as references. Just in case you decided to skip some. Shame on you if you did :-)

Special Mentions:
How to Date Women – Article that does exactly what it says on the tin.
How To Pick Up Girls Like Hunter S. Thompson… – If you are a fan of the late great Hunter S. Thompson then this is a must read.

So there you have it, Social Masters best of 2009. Enjoy.

Speak soon,
David Black

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[Note from David B. :- As it's Valentines coming up, we got a genuine, certified *girl* to write a guest article about it. Thought it would be good to get things from a female point of view. Preston found Tash in the nearby enchanted forest (so he tells me, personally I think he's on drugs), hope you enjoy what she has to say about the love-drenched celebrations.]

Hearing too many love songs over the radio? Seeing your fair share of red roses and boxes of chocolate in the shops? That means only one thing: Valentine’s Day is creeping upon us. And for some of us, it’s the worst time of the year.

If you’re trying to get a girl, you probably starting to feel more pressure at this particular time of year than any other. Whether you’re going to work, heading to the gym or even relaxing at home, you feel like you’re carrying a form of burden with you at all times. There are a few reasons why Valentine’s Day tends to create more pressure for you when trying to get a girl…

The most common reason is you start to feel lonely and left out because close friends and family start to discuss their ‘master plans’ on how to make the occasion special for their girlfriends. This can trigger several things:

• It can make you feel abnormal as you haven’t got anyone to ’share’ the holiday with and makes you feel very insecure.
• You start to get paranoid that there’s something wrong with you and wonder how everyone else can find a girl a hell of a lot easier than you.
• Negative thoughts begin to arise and traps you in a negative state of mind, blocking out anything positive (e.g.: believing that you won’t ever find a girl)
• You begin to isolate yourself allowing all these different emotions to make a dramatic impact on your lifestyle.

And if that was bad enough, the media aren’t exactly kind to you in any way around this time of year either. For them it’s the time of year when no matter where you look – whether it’s a shop window or on the television – the same messages keeps on being preached at you… “You should be in love by now! Why are you alone?” As Valentine’s Day is targeted at couples, everywhere you look there are cards, flowers and the odd cuddly toy. This makes it hard for you to escape back into reality and your daily routine. There maybe a chance you would look at this as a golden opportunity to try and get the right girl in time for Valentine’s and become more determined with achieving this goal. This may seem like a great idea at first until you start to panic that you can’t get the right girl in time for the deadline set and desperation starts to kick in. You begin to think that “any one’s better than nobody” and start to lower your standards.

One thing you need to know, and that a lot of people tend to forget, is that you’re not the only person who can’t stand the thought of Valentine’s Day. Heck, even most guys in a relationship tend to hate this day just as much as you do. Whether they have recently started a new relationship or have been together for years, they feel pressured into taking ‘the right course of action’ and perhaps struggle to think how to beat the following year. Some are entirely focused on their girlfriend attempting to make the day as romantic as they possibly can. Others feel pressured over buying a simple gift for their girlfriend. They ask themselves questions like “Have I spent enough?” “Is it genuine and sincere?”. And strangely enough, there are even guys who have convinced themselves that Valentine’s Day is a form of relationship evaluator, worried what the consequences would be if they ‘haven’t made the grade’.

And it’s not only the guys that hate this holiday, some women do too for similar reasons. Even though it’s ‘tradition’ for the guy to spend more money on a gift than the girl, some girls feel pressured in not only buying a gift but also feel they are competing with their boyfriend and their friends in a game called ‘who can spend the most money on a gift?’. Some girls would much prefer having small romantic surprises throughout a relationship than feeling you have to justify yourself on one day.

What the majority of people don’t seem to grasp is that Valentine’s Day is like any other day. Like some people, I tend to view this day as a hallmark holiday. It’s purely designed for companies to make a little bit more money in their back-pocket by selling more cards and increasing prices on gifts like flowers and chocolates. And let’s be perfectly honest, if you found a girl you had genuine feelings for, would you wait till Valentine’s to let her know how you really feel or would you be more spontaneous? Why would you hold back and wait for a specific date to arrive? Simple answer is you wouldn’t.

So how do you ease off the pressure from the day that is February 14th whilst trying to get a girl?

Ignore it. Sounds easy I know. But what is the fuss really all about? It’s a day that’s in the middle of February. That’s all.

Rather than spending the day alone at home, why not spend with your friends?

Bye for now,
Natasha May

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There are many reasons why you may want to know how to get a girl off your mind. Whatever your reason it is really important to know how to go about it, otherwise you will end up in a very bad situation. It can be something that will consume your whole life and that is something we really don’t want in life. PERIOD.

Many guys fall into the trap of ‘oneitis’. They see this one particular girl as being the answer to their prayers. They believe that this girl is the only one out there for them. They don’t think they can find another girl like them.

You must realise that this is just not the case. There are millions of women in the world and once you realise this, then you will also realise that this one particular girl is not as amazing as you once thought. You will realise that the women out there are just as good as this one girl, maybe even better.

How do we get a girl off our mind?

You go out as much as possible and meet lots of women. I know it sounds simple and it is. Go out with friends where women will be such as pubs, clubs, etc. Take up hobbies that women participate in such as dancing, gym, golf, yoga, etc.

Talk to women. The more women you meet and talk to, the more you will realise that there are loads of hot, interesting, intellectual women out there for you to meet. Abundancy is the key mentality here.

Soon you will forget about that one girl and a new world will open up to you.

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

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Technorati Tags: confidence with women, david black, how to get a girl, how to get girlfriend, preston blain, social masters

Building confidence with women is a very important aspect when it comes to meeting and attracting women. Even if you learn every single trick in the book, it is totally useless if you can’t talk to women and use it. The thing is, building self esteem and developing confidence will improve your chances with getting the women you deserve much more than learning new techniques.

Many guys have low self confidence when it comes to meeting women. We all have things we believe women won’t like about us, whether we think we are too short, bald, not funny enough, etc. What you need to do is realise that these things won’t make a difference as long as you can demonstrate the key traits that make women attracted to guys. Check them out here: how to attract girls for more information.

So how do we go about building confidence with women? Well there are 2 types of confidence you need. Inner Game Confidence is to do more with improving self esteem and is something that you can work on at home and is to do with how you feel about oneself. Then there is the stuff to do with actually talking to women, what I like to call Outer Game Confidence, which is to do more with building confidence in general.

Inner Game Confidence – You need to be be comfortable with yourself. Any negative thoughts going on in your head will seriously hamper your chances of being good with women. Building self confidence in this area involves mental preparation. Affirmations are an excellent way to do this. Repeating positive thoughts to yourself can remove any of those doubts that you may have about yourself.

Check out: How To Use PUA Affirmations for more information on how to do them properly. Once you have improved your self esteem you are well on your way to approaching women and attracting women.

Outer Game Confidence – Building self confidence when it comes to going out and meeting women is very important as well. A lot of guys seem to think that they will build confidence just by knowing what to say and do. They then feel like they can go out and so the stuff they have learnt with ease. However this is not always the case. It can be daunting to go up to a girl and try to do all the stuff you have learnt.

That’s why I feel it is better to build up gradually. Stuff like going out and starting off by walking up to hot girls and asking them the time. Once you feel comfortable with that move onto more involved questions, such as, where is the nearest cash machine? Where is Starbucks?. Then push yourself further. Soon talking to random hot strangers will be a walk in the park and you can then move onto the stuff you have learnt and put it into action.

I will come up with a little action plan for you to do with outer game confidence. Until then use what I have said here about building confidence with women and also check out my main man Carlos Xuma’s Alpha Confidence to boost your confidence further.

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

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