David Black Social Masters Blog » how to get a girlfriend

How To Get A Girl Who Has A Boyfriend – It Can Be Done

Preston — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 17:36:52 +0000

Accidentally approaching a girl who already has a boyfriend can be easily done. Knowing how to get a girl who has a boyfriend isn’t always so easy :-)
Picture this: You just happen to notice her form across the bar, walk up to her and start chatting away. You start thinking the two of you have made this connection when she says, “I have a boyfriend!”

Let’s be honest here. If a girl is attractive enough, then there would be a high chance that she is already has a boyfriend. At this point, some guys would think it would be more wise to move on: why try and pursue someone who is already happy right? However, there are also some guys out there who have difficulty getting that particular girl out of their head.

Whenever someone asks me this question, I simply reply with one question back. What is it about her that makes you attracted to her? You should ask yourself this question before you even start thinking about pursuing her. Is it because there is something about her personality that you find intriguing? Or is it just because she’s already has a boyfriend it makes it more exciting for you?

If it is because of the thrill-factor, then it would be best to leave her alone and move on. It just makes you look devious and underhanded to a lot of women and it would just appear you’re just looking to ruin her relationship and looking for trouble. If it’s because of her personality the best attitude to have is not to go about breaking them up, but rather take it upon yourself to convince her that she would be a lot happier with you.

But how do you that?

This ain’t an article about break up advice, but instead tips on how to get a girl who has a boyfriend that don’t involve you having to deal with the relationship break up if you are successful. You don’t want to try and get her to break up with him with sneaky underhand tactics. Instead you want to prove that you are a better guy and would therefore be a better person to go out with. If you achieve this she will break up with him naturally:

Have conversations with her

This one always sounds easy enough to do, yet so many guys tend to get it wrong. Whilst you are talking to her, the first thing you need to do is to see whether you and her have anything in common. If you do want to flirt with her, make sure it is very subtle. At this stage, you wouldn’t want to be mistaken for a player otherwise she would lose interest. Fast forward to the future now: after a series of conversations together, you need to be able to build a connection and trust.

There are two ways of going about this. You can either steadily steer the conversations towards her relationship and (more importantly) the problems with it until she feels comfortable confiding in you. Or you can talk about your previous experiences with her. By doing this, you appear open and honest about your past as well as making her feel relaxed about talking to you about her relationship.
What’s her ideal guy?

Once you’re able to have conversations with her about her relationship, you now need to find out what qualities and values she is attracted to in a guy. Ask yourself questions like does she prefer a guy who is intelligent? Is she attracted to a guy who has a good sense of humour? What qualities doesn’t she like in a guy? The reason why this is so important is because you’ll have to prove to her that you can be that guy.

You would also need to think of ideas and scenarios that can let you show her these qualities. Whether that is by making her laugh when she is having a bad day, or by doing activities together to show off your fun and spontaneous side to your personality. It is important as well to make sure that both of your values/qualities are compatible. This makes it that little bit easier for the pair of you to know that you are going in the right direction, without any misunderstanding.

Remember she’s in a relationship

If you do want to spend some time with her, you need to make is clear to her that you’re asking her to go out as friends. She would feel a little uncomfortable if she assumed it was a date. Talk about the female friends in your life. She will be left feeling curious about you; and it shows her you have qualities that are attractive to other women.

Be like her boyfriend, but different.

This has to be the golden rule when getting a girl who already has a boyfriend. Aim to become the upgrade she wants to have. Don’t make the mistake of comparing yourself to her boyfriend. Follow the principles taught here and you will be more attractive, and a ‘better choice’ naturally.

What to do when her relationship is struggling

With everything else in life, relationships have their fair share of disappointments as well as their enjoyments. If you start to notice that she is going through some tough times in her relationship, the best thing to do is either invite her round to your place or somewhere close by. This gives her time away from the boyfriend as well as the relationship to breathe and time to think the situation through properly. Don’t talk about her boyfriend, instead focus on having an amazing time together. This will make her realise what she could have.

So the big question to ask yourself is this…

Next time you come across a girl who already has a boyfriend, would you want to pursue her or would you rather move on from the experience and spend your time with other women that are single? Least you know how to get a girl who has a boyfriend, so you can make an informed decision.

Bye for now,
Natasha May

image: The Welsh Poppy

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Top 10 Things Not To Say To A Girl In Bed

Preston — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:34:15 +0000

There are certain things that us guys don’t want to hear in bed. The dreaded “Is it in yet?” springs to mind. However us guys are not the only ones who can be hurt by a tounge that has been let loose without due care. There are certain things that you should not say to a girl in bed, unless you really want her to gtfo double-quick.

Remember guys this is for comical purposes only. Take it with a pinch of salt and enjoy:

10 – “Gravity ain’t your friend.” (in reference to her taking off her top and showing you her saggy boobs)

Insulting a girl about her boobs is just not the thing to do. If a girl took the piss out of our manhood we wouldn’t be happy, and it’s the same with her boobs.

9 – “That was nice.”

Here’s the thing. A muffin is nice. Puppies are nice. Your own mother is nice. Sex should not be nice! It should be spontaneous, brilliant and the best you ever had! Not nice…

8 – “My ex never complained when I did it like that.”

No, she just left you.

7 – “That’s it, take it for Daddy.”

Unless your first name is Snoop, or you know she is into this sort of talk, be careful. Some girls could get really offended if you deliver this line with anything but a perfect playful authority. She wants to feel like a princess, not a whore.

6 – “From that angle you look just like my mum.”

Oh my god… wtf

5 “We should definitely turn the lights off.”

Implies that she is ugly, or you are very insecure. Either way, I don’t think she will be best amused.

4 – “Let’s make this quick, the game is about to start.”

Obviously you have got a Death wish. When you’re having sex, women want to feel like they are the centre of your universe. There’s nothing wrong with having other interest besides her, but not during sexy time.

3 – “It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate!”

It’s good to be honest, but some things are best left as secrets.

2 – “No, really… I do this part better myself!”

Ouch… harsh. Just imagine fingering a girl and think you are doing a great job. Then she suddenly stops you, removes your hand and says, “To be honest I can do this better myself”. That would hurt wouldn’t it…

1 – “You’re good enough to do this for a living”

Wow, you are saying she could be a prostitute. Every girl’s dream… oh wait, why is she running away after setting my house on fire!?!??

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

image: linh.ngân

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How To Get A Girl To dance With You In A Club

David Black — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:27:32 +0000

Lots of guys want to know how to get a girl to dance with you. This article is going to cover the problem of getting women to dance with you who are already on the dance floor without having to learn to club dance amazingly. Though learning how to dance won’t hurt, it’s not a necessity.

Yeah you have got to have balls of steel to do this, but I like to make this blog suited to both experienced guys as well as beginners. So if this little tip is something you find a little too challenging then by all means come back to it sometime in the future. The near future hopefully… :-)

This is by all means not the only way to get a girl to dance with you. However I do believe it’s very effective and if used correctly can cause immediate attraction towards you from the women you are going after. Plus if it works you suddenly find yourself dancing with the girl you want.

I bet you are keen to know how to get a girl to dance with you when she is already on the dance floor. You have probably been in a situation in the past where you wanted to dance with a girl, but just didn’t know how to go about it without looking like a fool.

Well it’s quite simple really… you start dancing, when you see an attractive girl you want to dance with, you go up to them, take their hand and spin them towards you and start dancing with them.

Yes it’s scary if you’ve never done it before, but it works like a charm.

And if she doesn’t want to dance with you (this is the rare exception by the way). She will just not spin round when you lead her hand. Turn away and find the next girl you want to dance with. No great shakes.

See when it comes to getting a girl who is already dancing, you can’t stop her and talk as she won’t appreciate the interruption to her having fun.

Instead you need to match her energy levels. She’s already dancing; you’re already dancing.

By taking her hand and spinning her around straight away you are making it abundantly clear that you are dancing with them. She won’t be thinking, “Is this guy trying to dance with me or what”. You are being a dominant leader, and most girls will follow that lead.

The good thing is, women love men who know exactly what they want. They especially like men who know what they want and just go for it. So by doing this, you demonstrate qualities that women love. If you wanna learn more about about value then check out how to demonstrate value.

Straight away you’re coming across as a confident guy, someone who won’t let anything phase him. Women love guys who are confident. I have said it before and I will say it again: confidence is a very attractive trait to demonstrate to a girl.

So now you know how to get a girl to dance with you if she is already strutting her stuff. Next time your on the dance floor and you want to dance with a particular girl then give this method a try. It’s a bit ballsy yes, and may be a bit intimidating, but just give it a go and see how you get on.

There is no failure, there is only feedback.

Speak soon,
David Black

image: RodrigoFavera

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The Skill Nobody Talks About

Preston — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 11:31:53 +0000

Picture this scenario…

You meet a girl, you hit it off big-time and end up going back to hers. You sleep together. Next morning you chat for a bit and then leave. Three days later she sends you a text, something like, “Hi, the other night was fun…”

Everything seems hunky-dory right?

WRONG!

What seems like a friendly and easy-going text from her was really the result of three days of
heartache and worry. She was most likely feeling depressed and rejected after you two hooked up.

But you didn’t know. Your initial success is now crashing and burning quicker than a flaming Hindenberg, but how could you possibly have known what she was going through? It’s not your fault, right?

WRONG again!

In order to remain in control of a situation like this, it is crucial to be aware of the emotional factors in play.

In other words, you need to understand *how the girl feels* at any given moment. Not just in this situation, but in any situation you may find yourself in involving you and a female of the species.
This is a skill, and it has a name. It is called ‘empathy’.

Empathy is the skill of being able to understand how the other person is feeling in a situation. To know what they are going through, their emotional state.

It’s really easy to overlook empathy as a useful skill. It’s often an example of ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’.

Don’t let this fool you though. The difference between a keen sense of empathy and little empathy is often the difference between success and failure.

Why empathy matters

If you are able to know how a girl is feeling at any given moment (or at lest have a pretty good idea), then you will be able to handle any situation that may arise that involves the two of you.
For example, in our scenario earlier, if you had realised that the girl would feel rejected by you not texting the next day, you would have known to send a text, and thus avoid any of the ensuing drama.

How to have more empathy

Having more empathy is more a change in mentality, than something you have to learn how to do.

All you need to do is imagine yourself in their situation. Think, ‘If I was this person, how would I feel?’

This subtle shift is all it takes to have more empathy.

Give it a try next time you are interacting with a girl. Ask yourself how you think she is feeling. You can try this on female friends, work colleagues, or even family members. Imagine how they feel, and then ask them. Talk to them about their feelings. See if you got it right or not.

After a few weeks of doing this, you will develop a feel for things. Almost like a ’sixth sense’, you will have successfully ‘calibrated’ as they say. And you will be well on your way to a deeper understanding of the female brain.

David Black

image: Mong Ty

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Naturally Attractive: Think Again!

Preston — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 17:15:38 +0000

I am sure at some point you have wondered “Why don’t women want to go out with you?” or talk to you for that matter :-).

But does this mean you are not naturally attractive?

We have all been there and I am sure like me you have questioned whether or not you are an attractive man.

Personally I believe everyone has the potential to be naturally attractive. The problem I feel comes more down more to how you portray yourself to women rather than whether or not you are attractive.

Could it be that you already are attractive, it’s just that you don’t portray it to women?

This is a very important question to ask yourself. When I was younger I believed that I couldn’t get women cos’ I wasn’t attractive. When I talk about being attractive I don’t mean looks I mean personality.

I know this because I have been told I am a good looking guy and yet I couldn’t get a girlfriend. I was puzzled why I couldn’t get a girlfriend because I thought it was all down to the way you looked. This made me feel worse cos’ it was kinda saying that I look good but my personality must suck balls because I still couldn’t get a girl.

This was not the case. I mean I am a genuine guy, I go to the gym, I can perform magic, etc. I was actually an attractive guy, I just needed to know how to get it across to women. Only then they could see the sort of guy I am and that’s when I became more attractive to women.

Take a look at yourself from someone else’s perspective

Take a step back and have a look at yourself. When you look at things from a someone else’s perspective you realise that things are more rosy than you first thought.

It’s easy to look at everyone else who has what you want and think that you are in the worst position. Yet other people like work colleagues or friends have different opinions. Problem is they will never say it to your face because that’s the way life is.

Have you ever been in that situation where you are talking to someone about someone else. They were like, “Yeah Tom’s an awesome guy, always makes me laugh with his antics”. They will say it to you and others, but won’t say it to the person who they are talking about.

You need to look closely at yourself from a neutral standpoint and pick out all of the qualities that you posses and then make sure that you display these qualities to others, especially women.

What does this mean?

There are probably a number of times when people have talked about you in this way but obviously won’t say it to your face. Therefore the chances are you are a naturally attractive guy who people like, you just need to show this to women that you talk to.

What should you do now?

Instead of changing who you are because you think there’s something wrong with you, instead put yourself out there. You may find that you do need to take a long look at who you are but the only way you will find this out is to put yourself out there.

If you are already a great guy then you need to just improve the way you interact with women. I think most guys are going to find themselves in this position. Why? Because we all have great qualities. Your father met your mother and had you. Therefore you will have a lot of his qualities. If he was able to find someone to be with then you have the same opportunity. That’s just the way life works. It’s natural.

Continual Improvement

You may realise once you have put yourself out there that you may need to do a little work on becoming a more attractive guy. Sounds harsh but then again life is harsh. If this is the case then you should check out “Death of Game” which will help you become more naturally attractive to women. That’s right no need for crazy Memorised Routines, Unproven Theories, ‘Game Playing’, etc.

Speak soon,
Preston Blain

image: yunguyen666

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The Value Of Time Episode 01

Preston — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 16:05:28 +0000

This is just a short video to hopefully make you realise that your time is valuable and that you should make the most of it.

Make sure you watch the whole video so that you know what I am going to be doing over the next few months. You may even want to give it a go yourself.

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101 Ways How To Get a Girl

David Black — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 18:36:55 +0000

…
So, you want tips? I got more tips than your body has room for right here. Here’s 101 ways how to get a girl…

Get some style

1. Get a decent haircut. One that suits you and makes you feel more comfortable.
2. Ensure your facial hair is under control, including eyebrows, beard, mustache, etc.
3. Wear clothes that fit you correctly. Everyone is a different size so make sure you buy clothes that fit you well and make the most of your physique.
4. Wear clothes that suit your style and are the correct colours. This will instantly make you more attractive to women.
5. Dress appropriately for your age. We all get older and therefore we need to adjust the style of clothes we are wearing.
6. Make sure you have a decent aftershave. How you smell is hugely important as it can cause huge attraction in women.
7. Wear something that makes you different. Don’t just follow the crowd and wear what everyone else does. If you wanna show off your personality then go for it.
8. However, don’t wear something stupidly ridiculous because 1: It ain’t cool & 2: It looks way too try hard. Check out 5 Tips To Improve Your Fashion Style

Improve your body language

9. Get your posture sorted. Good posture shows you are a strong, dominant man.
10. Make sure you stand relaxed but purposeful.
11. Confident bodylanguage is key. I am always mentioning in posts that confidence is one of the key factors to being successful with women.
12. Smile. I think people underestimate the true effect of a smile. A smile shows you are a warm & friendly and therefore someone they will feel comfortable having approaching them.
13. Keep your head up. Keeping your head up shows you are confident and not afraid of being seen.
14. Keep good eye contact.
15. Don’t fiddle as this is nervous behaviour. Any signs of nerves does not come across very attractive to women.
Side note: Check out Using Body Language for more info on body language in general.

Learning how to approach

16. You need to get out into the real world and approach real women. You can learn all you want, but at the end of the day you to need to go out and do it. One option is to start with routines. This takes away the problem of knowing what to say and just allows you to focus on doing the approach.
17. Start simple and progress. Ask girls the time, then maybe directions, etc. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in the ‘just asking questions’ loop. They are just to help you gain confidence to approach. Make sure you keep progressing with the interactions. Check out: Art Of Approaching for more info

Think about using routines to start with

18. Routines help you to gain confidence, tho don’t become dependent on routine based methods. Only good for the short term.
19. You can progress very quickly and therefore get instant results. Never a bad thing :-)
Here are some routines for you to try out: A Collection Of PUA Openers

Become adept at reading a girls body language

20. Know when she is interested what you’re saying.
21. Know when she is bored.
22. Know whether she wants to take things further.
23. Knowing if she wants to be kissed.
24. Knowing if you are creeping her out.
25. Know if you are coming on too strong. Check out Reading Body Language over at Become A Player

Get down the gym

26. Start a fitness regime and stick to it. Women are attracted to men who are in good shape.
27. Include cardio to lose weight if needed or high intensity interval training.
28. Swim. Swimming has been proven to be an excellent way to lose weight and improve the strength of your heart. If you can’t swim then learn. You never know when you might need it.
29. Lift weights to bolster those muscles. Women love guys who are in shape. It’s not that they are superficial, it’s just having a nice body shows you care about yourself and will therefore care about them.
30. Don’t go overboard with weights as women don’t like men who are too muscly. Sometimes being too big can actually be detrimental to how attractive you are.
31. Keep up with your training on regular basis. Steady and consistent workouts will reap the most reward.
32. Get professional help. Check out the Adonis Effect.

Learn some new skills

33. Women love men who posses skills.
34. Learn musical instrument. E.g women love men who play guitar.
35. Learn something cool such as magic. Check out: Puma skills
36. Improve your dancing skills as it’s both practical and attractive.
37. Poetry is a great skill to have. Women love poetry and love guys who can recite poetry.
38. Make sure though it is something you enjoy & not just for the sake of getting some nookie.

Have fun

39. Do some Karaoke. Doesn’t matter whether you can sing or not. Sometimes it can be better when you can’t sing because it will make her laugh and show you don’t care about what others think of you.
40. Semi extreme things such as surfing, mountain climbing, biking, sphereing, etc. All great fun and all adrenaline filled which girls love.
41. Explore new places.
42. Seasonal fun. Having a water fight in summer, kick leaves in Autumn or make a snowman in Winter. Fuck Spring :-)
43. Make the boring stuff like furniture shopping fun by throwing her on the beds, throwing cushions at her, etc.

Get a passion in life

44. Women love men who are passionate. Watch this video all about getting a passion: The Biggest Thing To Attract Women
45. You can be passionate about anything.
46. Be passionate about anything such as your career, business, hobby, a charity, etc.
47. Make sure you portray this passion to the girl through speech and your body language, as well as your actions.

Recognise and utilise your strengths

48. Use the skills you have already to improve your chances.
49. Everyone has strengths that can be used to attract women. If you don’t think you have then you are not looking hard enough.
50. It could be humour, intelligence, conversational skills, athletic prowess, etc.

Improve your confidence

51. Use affirmations as part of a confidence routine.
52. Push outside your comfort zone each day by doing one thing that scares you.
53. Go out into the real world. Ask 20 women the time and then do progressively harder stuff.
54. Realise that not trying is the only failure.
55. Also realise that women want to be approached so go for it.
56. What’s the worst that could happen? You get turned down and that’s it. Nothing major.

Become a great conversationalist

57. Learn to find out what she likes (Deep and wide rapport). Credit for deep & wide rapport must go to Lance Mason, so make sure you check out his site: Art Of Attraction
58. Talk about things you both like. If you can’t find anything you both like then get the hell outta there :-)
59. Speak clearly, without being so quiet she struggles to hear or so loud that she finds it intimidating.
60. Listen when she speaks and respond accordingly. More info at Sosuave
61. Talk with passion about the things you care about.

Get help

62. Don’t be afraid to admit you need help. We all need a little help sometimes.
63. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Learn to take on board the good advice and ignore the bad.
64. Find someone who is better than you and learn from what they do. Remember to put what you learn into action and not become someone who always learns but never does.
65. Also don’t go OTT with learning. This can can lead to paralysis by analysis. Tho you should check out TSB Mag, they give away so much quality free information.

Risks are part of success

66. We all need to take risks in order to be successful.
67. What’s the worst that could happen? If a girl says no then you move onto the next one.

Be a ‘real man’

68. Display leadership.
69. Be a decision maker.
70. Be picky and choosy. This shows that you are not desperate and that you are more desirable.
Check out ‘Women Approach You‘
71. Make sure you have lots of options. Men with options are always more attractive because any one girl isn’t that special to them by default.
72. Check out the article: how to attract girls for more information on being a real man.

Get your mindset sorted

73. Believe that you are good enough. If you do, you are.
74. Eliminate any need for acceptance or approval.
75. Make sure you have the abundance mentality.
76. Work on your mindset with affirmations. Check out quotes about success as they can be inspirational. One of my favourite quotes is; “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will” – Vince Lombardi.

Become a master of flirting

77. Being a master flirt is a great way to attract women, especially at work and in social circles.
78. Body language is key; have good eye contact, smile with your eyes, use a cheeky grin, etc.
79. Know what to say; Fake like she is annoying you, Roleplay together, reframe her tests, etc.
80. Set the frame of all interactions and keep in control.
81. Remain playful at all times. Remember flirting is meant to be fun.
82. Check out 30 Proven Flirting Tips, for Men & How to flirt like a master.

Be adept at using the phone

83. Don’t be afraid to use the phone. It can be a powerful tool that can really help you improve your interactions with women. The need to be good on the phone is greater than ever as the mobile phone/cellphone has become so popular over the last few years.
84. You can use it to further build attraction with a girl and also build rapport. Check out: Phone Mastery
85. It’s also used to arrange further meet ups between you and the girl which sometimes makes it a necessity to progress with women.
86. Put your phone in her pants on vibrate then use her phone to give it a call. Added bonus you get her number if you didn’t already have it.

Learn to be good in bed

87. Know that if you are good in bed then you will be irresistible to women.
88. Check out David Shade as he is one of the most renowned guys who teach men how to give a girl an orgasm.
89. Be confident in the bedroom. Girls love guys who take control in the bedroom and take the lead with sex.
90. Once you get to know the girl you can ask her what she really likes. Make sure you balance asking her with just out an out sex. If you repeatedly ask her it can become a hindrance to the sex because it can kill the moment. Learn what she likes and then do it till you get it right. Then you may ask again.

Be prepared

91. Always carry condoms for obvious reasons.
92. Always have somewhere you can take a girl back to on a night out. Be in your place, a friends place, hotel, etc.
93. Always have a form of transport to get you back to your chosen destination.
94. Always carry your phone on you as you never know when you will need it.
95. Make sure you have enough money on you or your credit card for Taxi, hotel room, etc.

Sexually Aggressive Physical Moves

96. Warning these are advanced techniques that if done correctly can work like a charm. Do not attempt unless you have been trained first hand, or these can easily blow up in your face in a bad way. That said…
97. Pinch her on the nipple(s).
98. Slap her or grab her on the ass.
99. Twang her bra from the back, hard.
100. Push her back if she is getting too close.
101. Put her in the ’sensual choke-hold’.

And that’s the end of the list. Congratulations if you read this far, you must be one persistant dude. That in itself says a lot about your character.

image: mardy78

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How Not To Get A Girl On A Night out

Preston — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 21:39:50 +0000

Have you ever wondered how not to get a girl. The other day Marni from over at Wing Girl Method wrote a guest post for us entitled ‘what turns women on‘. She explains 6 points that turn women off, meaning that if you do their exact opposite, you will attract more women.

The article gave me the idea to write this post on how not to get a girl. Go check out Marni’s article if you haven’t already. I’ve added another 5 points that will not help you in anyway when trying to attract women.

Let’s get to it then. Avoid these if at all possible…

Trying to buy her attention

Buying girls a drink with a view to getting something in return is a no-no; it’s a fool’s game. In your eyes you think you are being this kind and generous guy who just wants to buy a girl a drink. However to her you come across as a guy wanting to buy her drink so that you can get her into bed. Can you really blame women for thinking this?

If you can answer the following question without getting the answer, “cos I wanna sleep with her” then you are one of the very few guys out there who are genuine when it comes to buying girls drink and does it just to be nice.

That question is: Would you buy a girl you don’t fancy a drink on a night out?

One other point to mention. Once you have been chatting to a girl and you are both getting on well then you may want to buy her a drink if that is the type of person you are. The problems come if you open up the interaction by offering to buy her a drink or if you try to buy her one before you have gotten to know her better.

Most likely scenario in that case is she accepts the drink, maybe chats for a minute or so (or not at all, depending on how ruthless she is), and then disappears, never to be seen again.

Showing lack of confidence

Women want guys who are confident. They want someone who will just walk up to them and start talking to them.

When women go out they want to be approached. All that pretty hair, make-up and expensive clothes, shoes & bags serve a purpose you know.

At the end of the day women don’t dress nice just for themselves. They are competing with all their friends & the other women in the bar/club for all the attention. They are dressing nicely so that they can attract guys.

Side note: Guys who have got the balls to approach women on a night out are already seen as higher value because it automatically shows confidence.

Trying way to hard to impress

On a night out, avoid the tendency to go OTT trying to impress girls. If you are totally crazy and try all sorts of tricks to try and impress girls, it can definitely come across as try hard which is actually a huge turn-off.

These women want to be approached. You really don’t need to do anything extra special. You want to come across as a cool, fun, calm and exciting guy without the need for crazy antics. You want to be different enough that you stand out but not so much that you look try hard.

Boring Conversation

What is a boring conversation? Well it can depend on the girl. But there are certain things that most girls respond to. A girl who is bored by the conversation will lose interest faster than a BP oil platform catching on fire and sinking.

So make sure you talk about things she likes. Talk about a lot of different subject and once you hit one she likes then talk in more detail about that. Pro tip: make sure you pick a subject you like as well. If you don’t, you’ll be bored, and that will kill the interaction too.

Acting Weird

‘Weird’ is a subjective term. But there are certain things that are sure to trip her ‘creep alarm’, here’s some examples:

Sitting there watching her for ages before approaching. Whether that’s talking to her friends or dancing. Although women want attention, they want the right sort of attention. They want guys to come up and talk to them. They want to have fun conversations with them. They also want to dance with these guys and have a great evening. They don’t want some guy sitting and ogling them for ages and you don’t want to be that guy because it makes you look rather creepy and strange. Also if you sit and ogle and then decided to approach after this they might be less responsive cause in their mind you are already this creepy weird guy.

Getting right in her personal space in a clumsy and careless manner. Nothing turns a girl off quicker (other than Simon Cowell’s y-fronts).

Not making eye contact. What are you trying to hide? Look that girl in the eye & make her feel the power.

Staring at her too much. Wait? Didn’t I just say look her in the eye. Yep, but not too much. Blink every now and then, and show some emotions. We’re going for the classic ’seducer’s gaze’ here, not the creepy-pedo-glare.

Final Thought

Knowing how not to get a girl can really improve your chances of success. Being aware of what not to do is half the battle when interacting with women. Remove the stuff that makes women lose attraction to you. You’ve worked hard to push her attraction buttons, so let’s keep that ground work intact.

Preston Blain

image: rishiprabhu

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What You Can Learn From Rob Green & His World Cup Mishap

Preston — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:54:27 +0000

Apologies now if you are not a fan of football (or soccer as the Americans call it), but there is no way I can go through the whole World Cup without any articles related to the world cup. It just has to be done.

Now if you didn’t see it, Rob Green let in an absolute sitter in during England’s opening World Cup match. I know a huge portion of Americans who do like football will love me talking about Rob Green and his moment of madness even if it doesn’t help them with women :-).

However after thinking about what happened I decided that instead of seeing it as a negative I would try and get some positive out of it. Not in terms of football cause to be honest there is no real way of looking at what happened in a positive light in terms of football itself, well unless you are American of course. But instead the mindset of Rob Green since it happened.

Let’s be honest, letting in as sitter in the World Cup must be one of the most demoralising experiences you could ever have. The weight of a nation to do well is being held firmly on your shoulders and you go and make a complete howler as Rob Green did.

Yet somehow he managed to keep his head held firmly in the air. He handled the whole situation with poise, professionalism and generally has not let what could be one of the worst moments in his football career effect him. A lesser man would probably be quite content with the manager letting another goalkeeper play the next match. However Rob Green is willing and ready to play should the manager make that call.

Now you maybe asking what this has to do with meeting women. Well when you consider the biggest fear that most guys have with women is dropping a clanger when they approach a girl. They are afraid that they are going to make a mistake and that if they do the whole world is going to come crumbling down on them.

Well I don’t think you can drop any big a clanger than at the Football World Cup and yet Rob Green has not let it effect him. So what I am saying is, if he can take such a huge cock up and just let it slide by the wayside then you can cock it up with a girl and just let it fall by the wayside as well.

Remember these few things next time you approach a girl:

If things don’t go according to plan just remember that the whole world is not watching your every move. At the end of the day the only people who are there when you approach a girl is you, her and maybe a few friends of hers. You are talking about a handful of people at the most not the millions that watched Rob Green fluff it.
On a night out a girl gets approached a number of times. The chances of her actually remembering the interaction with you and her is slim at best. Unless you do some crazy crazy thing you will just be another guy who didn’t quite make the grade. Whereas Rob Green will probably be remembered for this blunder for the rest of his life.
Even if you are awesome with women, you will always make mistakes. The gurus out there who say they can pick up any girl any time, 100% of the time is lying. We all make mistakes and that is demonstrated by one of the best goalies in the world make a big blunder. You must realise that you will make mistakes and that you just have to accept that fact.

I think what we need to learn is that you need to put things into perspective. Yes it is not very nice being rejected by a girl however you must realise that it will happen to you. Whether that is because you are just starting out trying to meet women and the inexperience leads to mistakes. Or because you are very experienced but still experience those days where nothing goes right and you make mistakes that mean you don’t get the girl. What ever your skill level you will make mistakes and you need to deal with them just like Rob Green has done.

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

image: wonker

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What Turns Women On?

David Black — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:47:39 +0000

This week, we have a special treat. A good friend of ours, Marni from Wing Girl Method has kindly written an article for our little site. It’s great to hear a female point of view on things, and Marni has some unique insights I know you’ll get a lot out of. Enjoy, David.

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Ahhh the age old question that man has been attempting to answer for centuries. What turns women on? As a woman I am flattered that men continue to conquer this quest. I really am. So I want to do you a favor and tell you the answers to the more important question. What turns women off?

A man has the ability to win or lose a woman in a matter of seconds. SECONDS! That means that every time a man approaches, he must be on his A game. That is, if the end result he desires is getting the girl.

Here is a list of some basic’s that men have done to me and my girlfriends that have turned us off in seconds:

1. Not making eye contact or making too much eye contact

I hate it when a man approaches me and can’t hold eye contact. He looks around the room and not in a calm way but an awkwardly nervous way. This to me spells insecurity which means NOT MASCULINE ENOUGH FOR ME. On the other end of the spectrum, there are some men who have intense eye contact that freaks women out. The best way I can describe is that it feels like they are forcing their eyes to look at me and at the same time it looks like they are trying to suck my brain out of my nose.

The best way to make eye contact is to soften your brows, make sure there is at least a foot and a half of space beteen you and the women and softly lock with her eyes. You can break away but for moments, I actually recommend it, then connect again. If you can add a small smirk or smile to this it will be a deadly combo.

2. Guys who don’t listen

I had this one client of mine. So cute, great personality, very comfortable in his skin but when we started to do mock picks ups he would freeze up and go into robot mode. While in robot mode, he would recite his set dialogue, which was fine, BUT he did not allow me to engage in the conversation. He would say “hey how are you doing tonight?” I would start to answer and he would jump into his next question. NOT LISTENING. NOT ENGAGING and therefore NOT CONNECTING. Women are looking for something to connect to in you when you approach. It’s how we form opinions and how we figure out if we want to get to know you. No connecting = No Interest.

When you engage a woman, listen to what she says, absorb and then if possible build on what she has told you. If you can use her own words to form the conversation, she will be putty in your hands. I promise.

3. Talking about what you have

Money, cars, how much weight you lifted, how big your penis is. We could not care less about any of that stuff if you shove it in our faces and if you find girls that do, then you know what you are going to end up with. When guys start slipping in $$ amounts on how much they make or how much they spend all I can think is “this guy is so insecure, give me something a bit more real to latch onto”. Men who feel the need to pump themselves up constantly in order to impress, are the ones that have low confidence and high insecurity. Not attractive and not impressive in the long run.

4. Pouncing

I have been on many, many dates with guys over the years. I always hated it when I would go on a great date with a guy where I felt a connection and attraction and then BAM he would pounce on me. Text, email, phone calls, more dates!!!!! Too much too soon. I want a man who has a life, and I totally love it when a guy is into me, but when he puts me in front of everything after knowning me for 2 minutes it;s overwhelming and unattractive. I wonder to myself “does this guy have a life? why does he like me so much? Is he desperate? YUCK”.

5. Over revealing

This is a really important one to remember. As a woman I feel my best and most attracted when I get to feel feminine. I feel my most feminine when I am with a man who is masculine. Masculine does not mean macho but it means a male who is calm, cool, collected, comfortable and confident. True signs of masculinity, for me, are emotional control and self respect. When starting to date a man I want him to respect himself enough not to throw up on me and tell me his whole life story in the first hour of hanging out. I understand that when people get nervous they over talk or over share but this is where emotional control comes in to play. Remember that on a first date you are still evaluating whether or not a woman is worthy of knowing more about you. Therefore over sharing or throwing up your information on her can be #1 too overwhelming, #2 a big turn off, #3 a sign to her that you have no respect for yourself and you share your info with anyone who will listen. Take you time in getting to know someone and really decide who you want to share your info with.

6. Not being yourself

As one of the few women who work in the Pick Up Artist/Seduction community I am very aware of routines, tricks and tools men use to attract women. The one thing that I dislike the most about the community is that some of the programs create robots. I had this one client of mine who wanted to show me his “routine” that he learned for picking up women and wanted to know why it was not working for him. BTW he had paid over $2000 to learn this routine. He started telling me about an experience on a motorcycle and half way through I said to him “have you ever been on a motorcycle before?”, he looked so shocked when I asked and then said “no”. So I said “Then stop telling that story. You are not selling it, it seems fake and it’s so obvious that it is a routine.” Just because one line works for someone else does not mean it’s going to work for you unless you can learn to make it your own. Copying material is fine but it will only start to work for you when it becomes real to you. I know guys hate to hear it but, just be yourself. Not your wimpy self but the best version of yourself that is not insecure, has a life and knows he’s attractive.

As you can see from each of the above the common theme is to be comfortable with who you are. Once you establish comfort in yourself you will make eye contact with ease, listen for pleasure, be relaxed about your worth, respect your independece and be yourself. It takes time to find that place of comfort but once you do women will be all over you. I always say, you can’t turn a woman on until you turn yourself on!

To read more about me (Marni) and what women REALLY want from men at all stages go to www.winggirlmethod.com

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