Yeah you have got to have balls of steel to do this, but I like to make this blog suited to both experienced guys as well as beginners. So if this little tip is something you find a little too challenging then by all means come back to it sometime in the future. The near future hopefully… :-)

This is by all means not the only way to get a girl to dance with you. However I do believe it’s very effective and if used correctly can cause immediate attraction towards you from the women you are going after. Plus if it works you suddenly find yourself dancing with the girl you want.

I bet you are keen to know how to get a girl to dance with you when she is already on the dance floor. You have probably been in a situation in the past where you wanted to dance with a girl, but just didn’t know how to go about it without looking like a fool.

Well it’s quite simple really… you start dancing, when you see an attractive girl you want to dance with, you go up to them, take their hand and spin them towards you and start dancing with them.

Yes it’s scary if you’ve never done it before, but it works like a charm.

And if she doesn’t want to dance with you (this is the rare exception by the way). She will just not spin round when you lead her hand. Turn away and find the next girl you want to dance with. No great shakes.

See when it comes to getting a girl who is already dancing, you can’t stop her and talk as she won’t appreciate the interruption to her having fun.

Instead you need to match her energy levels. She’s already dancing; you’re already dancing.

By taking her hand and spinning her around straight away you are making it abundantly clear that you are dancing with them. She won’t be thinking, “Is this guy trying to dance with me or what”. You are being a dominant leader, and most girls will follow that lead.

The good thing is, women love men who know exactly what they want. They especially like men who know what they want and just go for it. So by doing this, you demonstrate qualities that women love. If you wanna learn more about about value then check out how to demonstrate value.

Straight away you’re coming across as a confident guy, someone who won’t let anything phase him. Women love guys who are confident. I have said it before and I will say it again: confidence is a very attractive trait to demonstrate to a girl.

So now you know how to get a girl to dance with you if she is already strutting her stuff. Next time your on the dance floor and you want to dance with a particular girl then give this method a try. It’s a bit ballsy yes, and may be a bit intimidating, but just give it a go and see how you get on.

There is no failure, there is only feedback.

Speak soon,
David Black

image: RodrigoFavera

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This week, we have a special treat. A good friend of ours, Marni from Wing Girl Method has kindly written an article for our little site. It’s great to hear a female point of view on things, and Marni has some unique insights I know you’ll get a lot out of. Enjoy, David.

==========================

Ahhh the age old question that man has been attempting to answer for centuries. What turns women on? As a woman I am flattered that men continue to conquer this quest. I really am. So I want to do you a favor and tell you the answers to the more important question. What turns women off?

A man has the ability to win or lose a woman in a matter of seconds. SECONDS! That means that every time a man approaches, he must be on his A game. That is, if the end result he desires is getting the girl.

Here is a list of some basic’s that men have done to me and my girlfriends that have turned us off in seconds:

1. Not making eye contact or making too much eye contact

I hate it when a man approaches me and can’t hold eye contact. He looks around the room and not in a calm way but an awkwardly nervous way. This to me spells insecurity which means NOT MASCULINE ENOUGH FOR ME. On the other end of the spectrum, there are some men who have intense eye contact that freaks women out. The best way I can describe is that it feels like they are forcing their eyes to look at me and at the same time it looks like they are trying to suck my brain out of my nose.

The best way to make eye contact is to soften your brows, make sure there is at least a foot and a half of space beteen you and the women and softly lock with her eyes. You can break away but for moments, I actually recommend it, then connect again. If you can add a small smirk or smile to this it will be a deadly combo.

2. Guys who don’t listen

I had this one client of mine. So cute, great personality, very comfortable in his skin but when we started to do mock picks ups he would freeze up and go into robot mode. While in robot mode, he would recite his set dialogue, which was fine, BUT he did not allow me to engage in the conversation. He would say “hey how are you doing tonight?” I would start to answer and he would jump into his next question. NOT LISTENING. NOT ENGAGING and therefore NOT CONNECTING. Women are looking for something to connect to in you when you approach. It’s how we form opinions and how we figure out if we want to get to know you. No connecting = No Interest.

When you engage a woman, listen to what she says, absorb and then if possible build on what she has told you. If you can use her own words to form the conversation, she will be putty in your hands. I promise.

3. Talking about what you have

Money, cars, how much weight you lifted, how big your penis is. We could not care less about any of that stuff if you shove it in our faces and if you find girls that do, then you know what you are going to end up with. When guys start slipping in $$ amounts on how much they make or how much they spend all I can think is “this guy is so insecure, give me something a bit more real to latch onto”. Men who feel the need to pump themselves up constantly in order to impress, are the ones that have low confidence and high insecurity. Not attractive and not impressive in the long run.

4. Pouncing

I have been on many, many dates with guys over the years. I always hated it when I would go on a great date with a guy where I felt a connection and attraction and then BAM he would pounce on me. Text, email, phone calls, more dates!!!!! Too much too soon. I want a man who has a life, and I totally love it when a guy is into me, but when he puts me in front of everything after knowning me for 2 minutes it;s overwhelming and unattractive. I wonder to myself “does this guy have a life? why does he like me so much? Is he desperate? YUCK”.

5. Over revealing

This is a really important one to remember. As a woman I feel my best and most attracted when I get to feel feminine. I feel my most feminine when I am with a man who is masculine. Masculine does not mean macho but it means a male who is calm, cool, collected, comfortable and confident. True signs of masculinity, for me, are emotional control and self respect. When starting to date a man I want him to respect himself enough not to throw up on me and tell me his whole life story in the first hour of hanging out. I understand that when people get nervous they over talk or over share but this is where emotional control comes in to play. Remember that on a first date you are still evaluating whether or not a woman is worthy of knowing more about you. Therefore over sharing or throwing up your information on her can be #1 too overwhelming, #2 a big turn off, #3 a sign to her that you have no respect for yourself and you share your info with anyone who will listen. Take you time in getting to know someone and really decide who you want to share your info with.

6. Not being yourself

As one of the few women who work in the Pick Up Artist/Seduction community I am very aware of routines, tricks and tools men use to attract women. The one thing that I dislike the most about the community is that some of the programs create robots. I had this one client of mine who wanted to show me his “routine” that he learned for picking up women and wanted to know why it was not working for him. BTW he had paid over $2000 to learn this routine. He started telling me about an experience on a motorcycle and half way through I said to him “have you ever been on a motorcycle before?”, he looked so shocked when I asked and then said “no”. So I said “Then stop telling that story. You are not selling it, it seems fake and it’s so obvious that it is a routine.” Just because one line works for someone else does not mean it’s going to work for you unless you can learn to make it your own. Copying material is fine but it will only start to work for you when it becomes real to you. I know guys hate to hear it but, just be yourself. Not your wimpy self but the best version of yourself that is not insecure, has a life and knows he’s attractive.

As you can see from each of the above the common theme is to be comfortable with who you are. Once you establish comfort in yourself you will make eye contact with ease, listen for pleasure, be relaxed about your worth, respect your independece and be yourself. It takes time to find that place of comfort but once you do women will be all over you. I always say, you can’t turn a woman on until you turn yourself on!

To read more about me (Marni) and what women REALLY want from men at all stages go to www.winggirlmethod.com

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Hey there guys, just spent the day trying to make sure our pick up artist forum list is bang up to date.

I have added 4 forums to the PUA Forum list:

Arizona PUA Forum – This particular forum concentrates on PUA’s in Arizona funnily enough :-). Good place to share tips and advice as well as organising meet ups for “Sarging Events” as they call it.

High School PUA’s – Designed for PUA’s in high school. Obviously the world of PUA’s in high school has variations to normal PUA’s, so if you are still in high school then you should check this out.

Roosh V Forum – The legendary Roosh V’s personal forum.

Students Of David Deangelo – One of the greatest PUA gurus ever has his own forum for you, to help improve your interactions with women.

I also updated The ABCs of Attraction as they had a change of domain.

I think that is everything. Check the rest out here: PUA Forum. You can also check out our PUA blog list as well: PUA Blogs.

Enjoy.

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

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You’re at a club with your friends having a good night out, when you spot a girl that takes your interest. You want to get her alone, you want to get to know her. There is however one obstacle that makes you hesitate… getting her away from her friends! And the dilemma that is just how to get a girl alone occurs frequently to most guys.

That’s because it’s not always as simple as walking up to her and just stealing her away from her friends. How to get a girl out from under her friends grasp takes the following considerations:

First even though there are women that are looking for a guy to meet, she may feel obligated to stay with her friends. Most people allow their friends around them to make their decisions without them even realising it. It all comes down to sticking with the ’status quo’ and more importantly having the courage to break it.

Always remember that this girl doesn’t know you! As her friends will be constantly around her, she may feel like they are watching her every move. She’ll feel on edge and will continually ask herself questions: “What if I’m seen as a slut?”, “What will my friends think of him?”

Her friends will be protective.

You may accidentally come across as possessive as your attention will be instantly drawn towards the girl and not her friends, causing jealousy within the group.
How to get a girl alone?

Here’s the key. Engage the entire group, don’t focus on the girl you are interested in. This may seem like an odd tactic to take on board. However, this can help you greatly in two ways. It will satisfy her friends, as you’re paying them attention. At the same time, this will make you be seen as ‘desirable’ and she’ll become jealous that she’s not constantly in the limelight. While talking to her friends, you would want to show them your fun and intellectual side to your personality. You can easily do this by telling them stories and showing them cool stuff (e.g.: magic tricks, fun little games, etc.).

As soon as her friends see that you’re a cool guy, the girl will be feel comfortable with being herself around you. Her friends are giving you subconscious acceptance to the group. Thus, they will not stand in your way when you want to spend some time with girl you like. Her friends may even give their approval so much that they’ll do the ‘hooking up’ for you. This is a good thing(tm) :-)

When you feel ready to get the girl alone, rather than whisking her away from the group, ask her friends whether they would oppose if you wanted to take the girl somewhere else as, “you seem to be getting on pretty well”. It will look peculiar if you get the girl alone without having a reason, so always have something in mind to why you want to get her alone; whether it’s for wanting to tell her something or to dance with her on the dance floor.

The pressure is off for the both of you once you have finally managed to get the girl alone. You will become more relaxed, more confident and your attention will be focused on getting to know her more intimately. Instead of making the girl feel nervous and uncomfortable, you have used her friends’s influence as a vital weapon to overcome her initial insecurities.

So there you have it. You now know how to get a girl alone in a club. Now go out and do it :-)

Speak soon,
David Black

image: RodrigoFavera

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I have often seen questions from guys relating to how to get a shy girl. Picture this: You approach a girl, and she appears to be so shy that she struggles to keep any conversation going and can’t even relax around you. And it would appear that she will make almost any excuse to get away from you. Not because she doesn’t like you -she *does* like you- but because she is afraid.

This leaves the dilemma of how to get a girl to like you if she is a shy girl.

A shy girl may have a lack of confidence when in surroundings or with people she is not familiar with. She will usually try to shield herself away from any form of attention. If she does get noticed by you, she may behave awkwardly with a cautious attitude and use body language to hint that she is uncomfortable around you. Some shy girls have a fear of failure and will often have a secret desire to escape back into solitude. That’s because in her mind, she believes that only certain people can make her feel comfortable.

And in order for you to make her feel comfortable, you need to understand a bit more about what’s really going on…

So what makes her so shy? To understand how to get a shy girl, you need to understand what makes her shy in the first place. When you normally approach women you are completely relaxed, confident, sure of yourself, and appear to know exactly what to say to her at the right moment. To a shy girl, this can make her:

* feel inferior to you
* hesitate about what to say or do around you, and panic
* be clueless in what to say/do
* feel nervous
* fear that she is going to be rejected by you

So you want to know how to stop her being shy? First, you got realise that ’shyness’ in itself is just a state of mind. There is a confident girl in there somewhere, you just gotta give her the right stimulation to coax it out of her. There areways to get a girl to feel more confident around you.

You need to put her at ease. Do this by first being at ease yourself. This has a subtle leadership effect, and you act like a source of emotional strength that will guide her.

Remember: the strongest frame in an interaction always wins the day. If your confident frame is stronger than her shyness frame, you will influence her, and she will feel more confident.

This is like when you’re in a strange and unfamiliar situation, and you are with someone who obviously knows what they are doing. You naturally look to this person, see them as a source of strength, and follow their lead. They are like a rock.

You are that rock to her.

Also, let her know she can be herself around you. If you show her that you’re not a judgemental person, then she’s more likely to be immediately comfortable around you.

Show her that you are not just randomly talking to her just for the sake of it. Show her that you genuinely want to get to know her. You can do this by not just talking about yourself, but by taking a step back and listen to what she has to say. Give her your full attention.

Be aware if you are putting her on the spot too much, as this can be taking it to far and make her uncomfortable again. As you start to learn about her likes and dislikes, if there’s anything you two share in common then you might want to talk more into that. By doing this, helps her feel more relaxed and accepted around you.

If she wants to say something to you and changes her mind at the last minute, tell her that you want to hear what she has to say and ask her what she wanted to say. She’ll do this because she wants to to tell you something, but hasn’t yet got the confidence to say it. When asking her about it, don’t be seen as ‘too pushy’. If it looks like she doesn’t want to tell you after a couple of attempts, then let her know that you are there if she wants to talk to you and leave it as that. If you do this, this can make her feel confident that she can open up to you in the future.

Always remember that shy girls need more time to adapt around you than confident, extroverted women. If she starts feeling at ease and you ask her out for a date straight away, the fear of rejection and nerves will come running back. Start things slow by doing fun activities together. This can can an interest you both share (e.g. golf, bowling, nature) or a new experience you can both enjoy.

Finally, when it comes to how to get a shy girl, never attempt to gossip or mention anything negative about others when you’re around her! This does two things: It makes her feel very self conscious and paranoid about the way she is seen by others. It also tells her that you’re not someone she can trust and she will worry that as soon as her back is turned, you could easily speak about her the same way. This can definitely affect what she says and does around you and may stop her from opening up to you.

The key thing to remember with shy girls is to be the strong leader. With a confident girl you don’t need to do all the work because she will be willing to speak up. However with a shy girl you need to put in all the work, make all the decisions, shoulder all the responsibility and take all the risks. You need to be the man in the equation, the strong on. Bottom line, you gotta man-up son!

image: Jazz Defo

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Hey guys, David here.

I was just looking back through some of my posts for 2009 and thought it would be a nice to give you a list of the 5 best articles to read. So if you pick just a hand full of my posts to read then choose these, Social Masters best of 2009:

1) Learn How To Attract Girls – This article is all about developing yourself inner self in order to attract more women. Understanding the mental concepts is so important to becoming great with women. This is truely some of my best stuff. Check it out.

2) Discover The ‘Attract Girl’ Method – Learn how to walk and talk like somebody who is awesome with women. Also learn how touch is such an important aspect.

3) Confidence with women – Once you have your inner game sorted, you need to build the confidence to go out and talk to women. There is no point being great with women if you ain’t got the balls to go out and use those skills.

4) How To Approach A Girl – Once you are this bad ass mother f**cker who has awesome inner game, knows how to walk and talk, has the confidence to put this stuff into action, then it is time to learn how to approach a girl. Well this artcile does exactly that.

5) How To Get A Girlfriend In 7 Easy Steps – This is a little bit of a cheat on my part, because this article not only tells you what you need to do to get a girlfriend, but it links to all the articles I have listed here as references. Just in case you decided to skip some. Shame on you if you did :-)

Special Mentions:
How to Date Women – Article that does exactly what it says on the tin.
How To Pick Up Girls Like Hunter S. Thompson… – If you are a fan of the late great Hunter S. Thompson then this is a must read.

So there you have it, Social Masters best of 2009. Enjoy.

Speak soon,
David Black

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Just a short post today to let you know about my PUA Blog list.

If you have not already seen it then check it out here: PUA Blogs

It is a list of all the top PUA blogs being run at the moment. Some by pick up artists like Badboy PUA, Thundercat PUA, Neil Strauss and many more. Some by people who have learned how to pick up women and want to share how they have gone from somebody who is no good with women to some one who can approach women, attract women and date women/sleep with women.

I try my very best to keep it as updated as possible. If you know of a PUA Blog that I have missed, whether you run it or enjoy reading it, then let me know by email – comments@social-masters.com

I hope you like the PUA Blog list and hope you enjoy some of the new reads that you find. There are plenty out there so it will harder not to find something you like rather than something you do like.

As a side note. If you are looking for a forum then check out my best PUA Forum list. I am sure you will find something there to tickle your fancy :-)

Catch you laters,
David Black

image: Annie Mole

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Affirmations for me are an important part of learning. They really can help you pick up women.

They are great, especially when you first start learning how to pick up women. They can help you build your confidence, which will allow you to approach women in the first place if you are struggling.

However you need to be aware that they will not transform you into a babe magnet. Doing affirmations all day everyday will not make half naked women turn up at your door, ready to pounce on you. You still need to get out into the real world and actually speak to women.

The best way to do affirmations is think of beliefs you want instill in yourself and say them to yourself everyday.

Examples of PUA Affirmations to help you approach girls and pick up girls:

“I am an interesting person who women want to speak to
“I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to”
“Women want to be around me”

Notice that all the examples are positive. It’s all about having a positive mental attitude.

They reckon the best times to do this, are when you get up in the morning and just before you go to bed. Spend a 10 mins just repeating them to yourself.

The best way is to say them in your head. This stops your internal voice from saying negative stuff while you say positive stuff out loud. Your internal voice is more important, so make sure you say them in your head.

Doing this will really help you build your inner confidence. It will help you gain the confidence to talk to women. Which is exactly what you need to do as well.

Some pick up artists make affirmations an important part of their PUA life. Others don’t like to use them at all. They think you should do it all in the field. Fair enough if you have the confidence to do that in the first place. If you don’t then affirmations can build that initial confidence to talk to women in the first place. Remember you need confidence in the first place to approach women. Using affirmations can really help you gain this initial confidence.

Final thought on PUA Affirmations – Look at it this way, why pick one method when you can do both? Do the affirmations first thing in the morning and last thing at night and go meet women in the day. Don’t limit yourself to one or the other.

Catch you laters,
Preston Blain

image: RJO Photography

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Let’s start this post off with a quote from arguably the worlds greatest basketball player, Michael Jordan. I want you to read it carefully and take it all in:

When you read this quote, the old NLP principle ‘there is no failure only feedback’ comes to mind. Realise this: everybody, even the greatest, have days when it just does not happen for them.

Does not matter how hard they try, it just won’t happen for them.

Hell, I even have the occasional ‘off-day’ myself. A fact I’m not afraid to admit.

You hear so many ’so called gurus’ saying that you should be able to pick up any girl, any time. On the whole that is a good attitude. You just have to realise that you will have days where it just will not happen. The ‘gurus’ often seem to neglect to mention this point.

We all have days where we’re not feeling our best, and stuff we try just bombs. We feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. It’s not bad, its just the natural order of things. The ebb and flow of human emotions.

I’m not trying to depress people here. I just want you to know that you will need to go through the wringer a few times before coming out dry the other end. If Michael Jordan can’t be the best he be can every time, then how can you expect to be?

Don’t battle with yourself. The more you struggle, the harder the fight becomes.

How to use this to improve your life…

You can learn more about who you are, and how far you have come, by the way you react to these negative experiences. Here is another Michael Jordan quote. I don’t get paid every time I mention him, though you should defo go buy some Nike Air Jordans, they are the awesomest :-) Here’s the quote:

A real-life example of applying this:

I was out with a friend from work. He is a pretty cool guy. He said he hated the fear of rejection and that it made him feel depressed. With such negative thoughts going through his head, no wonder he did not want to approach. I told him to look for all the positives of any interaction and to realise where he may be going wrong.

We were out the other evening, and he approached two girls sitting at a table in a bar. He sat down with them. He started talking, when one interrupted him saying, “I can’t hear you.” Without hesitation, he told her to lean in. Boom, she did as she was told. Good girl.

Then he wanted to do a magic trick for them. He held his hand out and told them to do the same. The same girl said, “Are you f**cking serious?”. He looked at her and calmly said, “Do you wanna have fun?”. Once again, she stuck her hand out and followed his every word.

Then the girl got real bitchy because she could not figure out how he did the trick. He refused to tell her, and kept his cool. This was the strongest negative reaction he had experienced in over six years of performing magic for people.

Anyway, she started to get her knickers in a twist and told her friend she was going. Her friend just sat there until she was literally dragged up.

He came out of the interaction happy and buzzing with energy, *not* feeling bummed-out and depressed (even though he had been ‘rejected’). He had told this girl what to do, and she did it. He realised he made a few errors and that he may be able to ‘tame the beast’ if a similar situation were to arise in future.

He learned so much more from this one experience than he would have done if he never walked over, and had the balls to just go for it.

So get out there and double your failure. You might just double something else at the same time.

Speak soon,

David Black

image: Diana Pinto

P.S. If you like this stuff, make sure you sign-up to my mailing list in the box below.

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