Attracting Women is Marketing Yourself

You may have seen a recent article by Bobby Rio over at TSB Mag called ‘Gun to the Head Pick-Up’, which took the concepts created by world-famous copywriter John Carlton, and applied it to attracting women. It really is worth checking out at it is an awesome piece with some great insights. Be sure to go read it if you haven’t done so already:

http://www.tsbmag.com/2009/03/30/gun-to-the-head-pick-up/

In this article you’re gonna learn how you can ‘market’ yourself to women, using powerful and proven psychological principles to position yourself (the ‘product’) in the best possible light – just like a company advertises their product to their potential customers.

Each principle is covered in turn, and you’ll see briefly how it applies in marketing, and then how you can directly apply it to attracting women.

Dealing with Objections

If you sell anything in business, the absolute number one thing to deal with is objections from potential customers. Examples: “It’s too expensive”; “Will it last very long?”; “It looks too complicated to use.”

Overcoming these objections is often the difference between making a sale and going home broke.

When you meet women, and want to take things in a physical direction, more likely than not, she will have one or more objections. These are caused by several factors: her upbringing; her being worried about what her friends (or society in general) thinks of her, and so on.

Potential objections can include:

Not wanting to be alone with you
Reluctance kissing you
Not going back to your place

The way to deal with any objection is *not* to try and convince her logically. If she says, “I haven’t known you long enough to go back to your place.” Do not respond with something like, “You have known me for seventeen hours, that’s plenty of time.” This flat-out will not work.

Women make decisions based on emotional states to a much greater extent than guys. She said no because she feels a little uncomfortable and scared.

Instead, as the old adage goes, you need to change her *mood*, not her *mind*.

Demonstrate leadership, and relaxed confidence. If you are cool with it, it will be natural for her to be also.

Explore her reasons. If she says, “No” to your suggestion, perhaps they are logistical. Maybe she has a kid, and thinks that if you find out, it will be a deal-breaker. If you get this out of her, and demonstrate to her that its no big deal, then you have just overcome her objection.

All of a sudden, her reluctance and fear will disappear.

Social Proof

When advertising, if you can demonstrate to a potential customer that there are hundreds of people lined up, chomping at the bit to buy from you, then they are subconsciously compelled to desire your product.

We want what other people desire.

If a woman sees that women like you and want to be around you, she will want this too. If she sees you have great friendships then she will subconsciously know you can be trusted, and will want that kind of connection with you.

Scarcity

Ever see one of those ads that finishes with, ‘Hurry, while stocks last!’. This makes people realise they will lose out if they do not buy now, and compels them to buy.

With women, if you demonstrate that your time is a valuable and rare commodity , they will be more eager to hold on to you.

Loss & Redemption, with a hint of Reluctant Hero

We’ve all heard similar stories – The property investor who had it all, then lost everything. Then they made a big discovery and made it all back even bigger and better.

Telling stories that convey loss and redemption appeal to everyone, especially women. If you can tell a story about your life that shows you had it all, then lost everything, only to regain it, then you will be loved and desired by women.

Don’t make the stories up. Tell the truth. Lying sucks.

You can take any event from your life and present it in a ‘loss and redemption’ framework.

Exposing Flaws

“This car isn’t perfect, but who cares when it can go like shit off a shovel and leave your mates in the dust?” Exposing a flaw in something solidifies your integrity. If you are willing to admit there is something wrong, then you must be an honest guy.

When meeting women, exposing flaws will build up trust between you. Admit something about yourself that is less-than-perfect, like, “I’m a pretty chilled out guy, but sometimes, when someone cuts me off in a car, it really pisses me off. It’s like my blood boils, I can’t control it.”

Another example might be, “I’m terrible at remembering things. I even forget how old I am sometimes.”

These kind of admissions are really endearing, and help in building a real bond between the two of you. Naturally, she will feel compelled to reciprocate and share one of her flaws or vulnerabilities in return, further solidifying your connection.

Hope you found this stuff useful. Try some of it next time you are out interacting with women and let me know how you get on.

Speak soon,

David Black

image: ‘SeraphimC

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Fanci

Wow David, after reading your article I thought of the movie "Hitch". Your advice is good stuff. I found another interesting book at this site www.datingsecretsdiscovered.com that might be of interest to someone as well.

T

Amen brother.

When a pickup student of mine came to me he told me about how he's a car salesman but can't seduce women or attract them at all.

I asked him about what he did when he had a car which had a few issues.

He told me that as long as he got them to commit to actually coming out and SEEING the car that he generally sold it.

This didn't answer my question.

So, I persisted and he said: "I let them know about the deficincies upfront because the mere act of me saying it is abnormal for a salesman. So the fact I say it actually helps to play it down and write it off as a minor issue"

This may seem manipulative to some...and it is. But it works.

Why?

It's counter-intuitive. Every other salesman would NEVER mention the faults. Every unskilled man who approaches a woman, puffed chest and playing the 'infallible alpha male' will just be treated like all the rest before him and all the rest after him.

The skilled PUA would outright state his downfalls just as a passing comment. A casual, insignificant comment e.g. "I do get a bit jealous at times but sometimes you do need to protect whats yours".

Now she wont be suprised when she can see you're pissed off or down when she gets flirty with guys. She can't fight it because she knew about it from the outset.

Just like someone who was pissed off with buying a car that had a problem with the electric window. They wont go back to the dealer and hassle them to fix it, they knew about it and so when they took the car they accepted it as it was and they knew that.

The same applies directly with women as it would a car:

The more direct and open you are about your shortcomings the less qualms they can have. If you only slightly touch upon it by saying "I'm a little jealous at times" they wont take notice and when your personality defects start to show they can easily think "Well, I knew he was jealous, but not to THIS extent!".

Just like the car's window: " I knew it had a 'little issue' but I didn't think it would result in me getting a new door".

So...how do you avoid sounding like a needy sop who, right after small talk just unleashes a torrent of faults and turns off the girl?

Delivery.

HOW you say it is key and it drives me fucking crazy that most mainstream PUA's are focused on WHAT to say rather than on HOW TO SAY IT.

Tell them your detriments but let your delivery play it down, not the content.

Just a small casual comment in passing can see you easily get what you want and set precedents for the beginning of your interactions and relationships.

e.g. If she was to say :

HER: I had a terrible day, I hate my boss and it's so hard to keep being polite.

YOU: I envy you. I have a terribly short fuse for disrespectful people and I don't know how you resist not urinating on his keyboard.

Wow, this post turned into a rant.

I'm off to create my free DVD (but it's $7 shipping...but because you know that your chances of getting pissed that I said "FREE" may be remarkably lessened).

David Black

Thanks for the essay :)

David Black Social Masters Blog